List of 50 lessons learned over the weekend...

1. If your organisational skills are in any way reliant on your washing machine being timely, be prepared for rude reminders that your washing machine has a mind of its own, and it is going to be as obstreperous as possible.
   
   
2. Even if you chose to circumvent the time consuming nature of the washing machine by employing the dryer, you will not be guaranteed that it will either be timely OR completely dry its contents.
   
   
3. To get through the list and retain as much whinging time as possible in the day you may be tempted to gloss over some more "houseworky" items. Do so at your own peril - for although the "there will always be housework" advice rings true, there will always be MORE housework for those who slacken.
   
   
4. A plant is a great present. A citrus tree is a marvellous present. An overloaded sedan with a child in the back seat (who has a track record with defoliation) and a (prickly) citrus tree loses something in the fantastic present giving feeling process.
   
   
5. Getting away at any point earlier than when you are ready is impossible. Getting away at any point earlier than an hour later than you thought was possible is also impossible. Getting to the other end of the journey earlier is also a feat worthy of Hercules no matter what the leaving time is, so do not dispair.
   
   
6. You meet interesting people waiting for the toilets in petrol stations.
   
   
7. If you decide to go off the highway to find some local fare for dinner and see a Fish'n'Chip Shop doing a roaring trade, do not thing "oh we can come back to that if we can't find anything else", because
   1. you may not pass by that way again,
   2. even though you may not get lost, you may get disconcerted by this strange town,
   3. some towns are downright creepy at night, and
      
   4. you may be disappointed in the final dinner options available and contemplate many what if's.
      
      
8. Noodles are impossible to eat while driving - even if you got a fork.
   
   
9. Apparently not all Mongolian Beefs taste like Mongolian Beef. Some Mongolian Beefs are a little bit sweet and satay-ey.
   
   
10. Apparently when chilli is mentioned as a flavour on the noodle menu for your totally foreign sounding second dish, this is a serious promise.
    
    
11. Some children have crap taste in pizza toppings.
    
    
12. Some pizza franchises have crappier pizza topping options than others - and if you are not a connoisseur of pizza franchises you will invariably end up with flavours out of your experience range.
    
    
13. 9 year old girls happy to be having crap pizza for dinner will not notice.
    
    
14. Drivers frustrated with noodles and requiring food will - but will eat anyway (thinking about the what-ifs of Point 7).
    
    
15. Giving a 9 year old child the task of calling relatives to advise of dinner plans and estimated destination times will be successful in the transmission, but by talking to another 9 year old to give details will not guarantee the adults at the destination will know of said dinner plans.
    
    
16. The alphabet game has 3 very difficult letters - J, Q and Z - on a highway. I truly feel for anyone not living in Queensland on the second of those 3 letters.
    
    
17. The decision to go through the guts of a city rather than facing the task of using a tollway that now has no options for payment ON said tollway is a good one generally late of an evening.
    
    
18. Well, it is a good one if you do not decide to go through an area where many people converge on a Friday night to drink copiously and act like buffoons.
    
    
19. Drivers who do tend to travel into said areas are rude, arrogant schmucks who do not understand the concept of "keeping intersections clear".
    
    
20. This applies equally to professional drivers (buses, taxis) as to the unprofessional variety.
    
    
21. There is at least 1 lovely policeman in Brisbane who deserved the round of applause received in our car when he cleared the intersection after we had waited for 5 light changes to get through and on our way.
    
    
22. Harking back to point 16, said relatives will wait dinner for you until ungodly hours if it is in their culture to offer food on arrival.
    
    
23. Noone is really that hungry at 11pm.
    
    
24. Pregnant feet swell horribly after being in a car for most of 6 hours.
    
    
25. 'Salina has excellent reflexes for kicking cousins when being kicked - even when asleep and top and tailing in bed.
    
    
26. 72 year old ladies who have had 2 knee replacements will look much younger and happier with the success of said operation.
    
    
27. Cultural offering of food is fantastic when one is hungry enough to appreciate the gesture.
    
    
28. No matter how much you eat, some cultures like to insist on you eating more!
    
    
29. Instincts on finding parking spots based on experience over 3 years out of date are occasionally pleasantly surprising in their abilities.
    
    
30. Meeting up with women who, in some cases, you have not seen for 23 years at a venue you have never been to can be daunting.
    
    
31. Never arrive on time for such a meeting - you will require a pot plant to hide behind while people watching and a task to perform while waiting.
    
    
32. Mobile phones are handy to find said task.
    
    
33. Some people change beyond recognition in 23 years.
    
    
34. Luckily, some people don't.
    
    
35. Ankles can resemble balloons after a day of Brisbane heat (especially after driving the night before).
    
    
36. Never buy household staples at petrol stations!
    
    
37. 'Salina can eat fish that have bones, heads and tails in tact.
    
    
38. She prefers them to be filleted, though.
    
    
39. Uncles can be very indulgent.
    
    
40. Houses can be built on the sides of hills. This is especially freaky to us now, as there is only 1 HILL in the realm of paradise.
    
    
41. Hills are beautiful.
    
    
42. Even if you didn't love a house you once lived in, it is still sad to find a block of apartments where it stood.
    
    
43. Children, no matter how much they love one another, need time out (more so if both children are onlys)
    
    
44. A champion team can beat a team of champions (especially if a large section of the former are Queenslanders!).
    
    
45. 23 year old people are an excellent addition to the dinner table - even if they do make you very cognisant of your age. This especially applies when you mention a year that you suddenly realise was prior to their birth!!
    
    
46. The road home can seem quite long. Never more so than when you are behind the sort of driver that speeds for overtaking lanes and dawdles on the in-betweens.
    
    
47. You never know who you will run into at a park 200km from where you live and 200km from where they live.
    
    
48. This is far more likely to happen if the park has a great playground, of course.
    
    
49. Sometimes trying a new road will save you time and let you see some wonderful sights.
    
    
50. Cats do not appreciate being left for an extended period in a safe and healthy environment, and are not afraid to shirk from yelling their displeasure at you.
    

I feel like a far more enlightened person.

Did your weekend teach you anything?