There's a hole in my bucket

Not really - it’s just that I am feeling rather Liza like, dealing with all the Henry's out there in regard to my current washing machine saga. I am beginning to realise that I may have this sort of affinity with all large electrical appliances.

I was going to begin my journey in blogworld with insightful and witty reflections of the Paradise part of life, but there appears to be a problem in the whole move to paradise thing, and that was my very efficient packing strategy. I thus far have not managed to find

• a citrus juicer;
• my tax return from last year (but hey - if you want to see the one from 10 years ago, I can lay my hands on it straight away); and
• the paperwork from my washing machine and dryer.

There are possibly a myriad of other lost objects, but I haven't had to look for them yet!

This should not be a problem, as I always chose to shop and do business things with large anonymous stores that would keep details like this for me in case I did something silly like move 400km from Metropolis and lose my paperwork.

And this strategy worked for my tax stuff – fair enough, has added about 2 weeks to getting my return in, but I was running late anyhow so just means that my bonus will be 2 weeks later than anticipated (and heck, family & friends can look forward to Christmas goodies mid-January, therefore allowing me to get more bang for my bonus and them to have an extended festival – win-win I say).

However, it seems to have come unstuck on the old battle with the laundry. See, the reason that I got this whiz-bang you-beaut front-loading washing machine was because – well, my last one sort of blew up – like quite a spectacular noise and very efficient cessation of all power to my house type of blowing up – and I had just received my tax return (I was more on the ball last year) and man, I needed to spend that money quickly or else it would be put towards frivolous things like clothes and Christmas. Good thing I had an appliance to buy.

So I trotted off to the nearby Myer Megamart at Coorparoo. The Coorparoo Centre always holds such memories for me, as it was where my Grandma used to take us for shopping and iced coffee treats when we came in from the sticks to visit her. Also, Myer is a BIG NAME in shopping – you just know they are going to look after you and care when your shopping needs meet their inventory list. With care and appropriate nudging from the sales guy (who I am sure was doing it from love for his job and loyalty to the company) I chose my Electrolux EcoValve 6.5kg Frontloading Washing Machine. It had as many Water Saving Droplets on the front sticker as I could afford, and he did me a good deal.

I had a few concerns with delivery. I HAD told them anytime EXCEPT between the time of 8.15am and 8.45pm when I would be depositing my child at school. Well, doesn’t take a fakir to know that meant the delivery guy would therefore arrive at 8.20am and deliver a phone call irately informing me that that I should KNOW that I had to be there for delivery guy. But that was smoothed over, and I now had my Electrolux EcoValve 6.5kg Frontloading Washing Machine.

It took my ex-brother-outlaw ($20 bucks fuel money) and I about 2 hours to unwrap it from its packaging, but then I fell in love.

Anyone who doesn’t have an Electrolux EcoValve 6.5kg Frontloading Washing Machine (I should get them to sponsor me) or indeed any frontloader should know something – they really CLEAN your clothes. Like really, really clean. Like you have never seen in your life before your clothes/linen/plastic bags (okay, inherited from Mum and it makes environmental sense before you start scoffing) flapping on the clothesline so happily.

I have never had many problems with it.

Okay, it takes about a century to do a load, as there is only one inlet for cold water and then it gently heats the water (and not too much water) to the optimum temperature for your load – plus side is that you get to do more than washing in your day – set, forget and so long as you remember before mould sets in, you can get your weekly washing done across the space of the week.

Okay, if you decide to recycle any water for washing floors or stuff (thanks Mum for handy environmental household routines) and forget about doing that, it will siphon the water back into the machine.

Okay, at one point the screeny thing on the outlet hose decided to block the outlet hose, which is sort of fundamental (especially as the door won’t open until the water is out) but a nameless appliance guy fixed that without any eyebrow raising (and within his reasonable callout fee) when I first moved here.

But now – well, Electrolux EcoValve 6.5kg Frontloading Washing Machine, thy name is DISENCHANTMENT. It seems that there is some little inner thingy that checks that the door is closed, and until that condition is met nothing happens – and that little inner thingy has decided that the door is always open, even when it is definitely shut, darn it.

Which I can live with – at least until it is fixed – as there is a 20 year old Simpson toploader just sitting there unused as this house used to be a holiday home and it was part of the holiday experience. Happily it will chew and mangle your clothes (okay, not that bad, but when you are used to an Electrolux EcoValve 6.5kg Frontloading Washing Machine, toploading action is just uncouth) for about 20 minutes a cycle. Fair enough, you are left with enough suds to think about doing it all over again. Fair enough, the clothes are still wringable at the end of what it thinks is a spin. Fair enough, it too can siphon out your tubs if traces of liquid remain when it stops (as does happen, as it pumps out too quickly for the miniature plughole).

But hey, at least it works… Or rather, it worked – it seems that 1 1/2 weeks worth of clothing for a grown woman, a 7 year old girl and a part-time man (in situ part-time, not confused about gender part-time – makes for different washing conditions I am sure) and the entire linen for the above plus several guests plus approximately 25 stuffed toys that got a little bombed when I decided to nuke the house for unidentified biting things – well, anyway, it was working, and then it don’t work no more.

Anyway, nameless appliance guy is very happy to come and visit me again tomorrow (for only $66 including the first 2 hours labour – can’t argue with that), but he will not touch my Electrolux EcoValve 6.5kg Frontloading Washing Machine as it should be under manufacturer warranty. And I should have the paperwork to back that up.

Should is such a dirty word… It exists, I put it in a safe place – and now I am not sure where that safe place is… But hey – bought it from a big store – they should have the records, right?

Hooray, I went to get the phone number – hmm, but it seems that after haemorrhaging money for 5 years, it was closed by the parent company November last year. That is okay, parent company should keep records, right? Nah, they only did that for a year – try with the extended warranty people (I paid the extra, as it is a big, important appliance).

Unfortunately as it is still under manufacturer warranty, their records don’t have it available yet. Have I tried with the store? Oh, well then, give the serial number to the manufacturer and they should be able to track it.

There are 4 visible sides to my Electrolux EcoValve 6.5kg Frontloading Washing Machine where it is sitting – lots of stickers extolling its virtues but no identity. If I heaved a lot, I could see that the 5th side was also useless as far as serial numbers go. My Electrolux EcoValve 6.5kg Frontloading Washing Machine is a heavy mother –oops, appliance – so maybe the manufacturer’s representative could give me a hint or two.

Now, the woman answering the phone for Electrolux did not inspire me that she could really help me with my enquiries. I never got her name, as she never gave it. As she only started yesterday, no doubt that will be covered in the training in the next few weeks. In fact I only knew it was Electrolux as I asked directly – someone saying “oh, there is someone there. I wasn’t sure that the phone rang” as a greeting does bring to mind large and benignly helpful to the customer company.

I advised her my story thus far in regard to the Electrolux EcoValve 6.5kg Frontloading Washing Machine and that I could not find the serial number on any visible portion of the appliance. She was of approximately -0.05% help in directing me to where I would find it. She suggested it might be beneath the machine – I don’t know if you have ever attempted to look beneath a floor standing Electrolux EcoValve 6.5kg Frontloading Washing Machine, but it is not as easy to do as it is to say.

So I am back about where I started – looking at the confusing pile of papers and feeling despair, feeling the piles of washing growing behind me and looking forward to another visit from nameless appliance guy. I am going to get him to try and read the serial number as part of his fee.

Wow – what a gripe – to offset, letting you know that the weather is excellent here, and I would be enjoying an garden exploit if 7 year-old was not home from school “feeling sick” – heartless mum sent her yesterday with the same complaint and had to retrieve her, so giving her recuperation but trying to make recuperation as boring as possible. Well, gives me a chance to look through papers…

Or maybe dream my latest money-making venture, whereby someone like me can hand over just bits of paper to the representative at the store in the first place, say "file this for me" and then only have to call 1 number when crises develop... I think the idea has legs, just so long as I am not running it!!