Predictababble

Every so often, I see posts linking to Painted Maypole and her Monday Missions.

Of course, I always see them on a Tuesday because we are well into Tuesday by the time many of my worldwide blog-siblings are Mondaying.

But she must have been up with the birds, because I saw her latest Mission AND it is still Monday here - sweet!!!

Today's mission is to "write a post in the style of a prediction".

Back in the days when I was on the brink of being released from my Red Roof Jail incarceration, there was a quaint trend where you got your cellmates classmates to write something witty or deep in your friends' exercise books for them to keep for all time.

I would dig mine out, but I think it has long gone the way of the bonfire.

Anyhow, then, as now, I had a habit of using lots of words very messily in the space only a few should do, and punctuating like (a) crazy (woman) - and I gained a reputation.

You see, I tranced into my alter-ego, Madame Zelda Factaire Extraordinare (there were a few other names in the full title, but without the records to hand we have to rely on my memory - very chancy) and wrote swathes of fortunes for my friends.

As word of my generous predictions spread, girls who I barely knew in my year were requesting these tomes in their books also. If Madame Zelda could conjure futures for these strangers, surely she can blog?

Today, I shall attempt to channel Madame again for the purposes of many links across the blogiverse finally getting to put together a Monday Mission.

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Jeanie.

By years end, you will be older. Tread carefully into the new decade. Try not to cry as you admit your age, and if you do, put the tissues directly into the rubbish bin.

If you are too lazy fail to find a rubbish bin in couching distance, put your tissue into a pocket rather than on the coffee table. This warning is brought to you by the letter V.

I see great things before you. Great things. Great big things that could either help you or hinder you in your quest. Or maybe little things. Little insignificant things dancing like confetti on the winds of your fortune.

Question these things. Start with the question "what the expletive deleted are you?" because it is always best to define before making any choices.

Do not fail to check all pockets, for the moment this task is failed it is guaranteed a miasma will spread throughout your wash. Either a miasma or tissues.

When you see this sign, you will hear the voice of your mother from your past advocating this sage wisdom.

There is money in your future. I cannot see whether it ebbs or flows. Just be prepared for tides and batten down for gales and earthquakes. It could be the money is in the pocket with the tissues.

The cards will fall, and as often as they fall they will be incorporated into your hand. Be gracious whether they be spades or diamonds, for both have their uses. Do not put in pockets but lay on the deck for most advantageous gain. If your gain be not of a positive nature allow grace and humility to colour your reaction.

From the swirling of the mists I can see that you will hit the orange publish button, and as soon as it is pushed you will wish to revoke and edit.

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lol - one of these predictions has already come true today!!

So - what does your future hold, and how can you channel it?