Do you believe in magic?

I have a bee in my bonnet - and I suddenly remembered that I have a blog, and therefore I can spread my bee-bonnety thing across the world. Ah, the beauty of modern communications!

Anyhow, of late there is a new show on Network Seven over here regarding some masked man exposing the secrets of magic to the unwashed. I know. Shock!! Horror!! What will our magicians do?

Personally, I haven't yet watched the show. I am sure I will - I am the mother of a 10 year old girl who BEGGED for it to be taped for that future video watching occasion because it is very important that she watch it. Apparently.

But I have learned enough about the content - and no, its not because I am magic and can look at the outside of a video and unlock its secrets, but because Network Seven have plugged the show on EVERY SINGLE SHOW they have any creative control over.

In the mornings, we currently watch Breakfast Television, and because Carl Stefanovic gets right up my left nostril and because digital television has been the crushing disappointment that it is and because I refuse to allow children programming on until all hoops have been jumped through and because I don't speak Turkish or Greek or Russian or whatever language the SBS news of that hour is I am forced to endure the pleasure with Mel and Kochy on Sunrise.

As a result of the enlightenment that Sunrise offers, I know that it is SHOCKING the magic world that one of their own is dishing the dirt - they even went to the extent of getting someone from the magic world to say just how SHOCKED they were, and spilled a few sour grapes on how it must have been a failed magician who peed in the pool because there is a code.

If I had missed the opportunity of learning this from Sunrise, its okay because they have a subsequent program called The Morning Show that I occasionally fail to change the channel on or even turn off because the remote is too far away. The good news is, there is lots of information available on The Morning Show.

As a result of the enlightenment that The Morning Show offers, I know that it is SHOCKING the magic world that one of their own is dishing the dirt - they even went to the extent of getting someone from the magic world to say just how SHOCKED they were, and spilled a few sour grapes on how it must have been a failed magician who peed in the pool because there is a code.

The best news of all is that if, for some reason (like, I don't know, having a life) you miss all morning television, don't fret - you could tune in to their "current affairs" programming, Today Tonight.

As a result of the enlightenment that Today Tonight offers, I know that it is SHOCKING the magic world that one of their own is dishing the dirt - they even went to the extent of getting someone from the magic world to say just how SHOCKED they were, and spilled a few sour grapes on how it must have been a failed magician who peed in the pool because there is a code.

It is such a pity that I don't watch their soap, Home & Away, because I would love to know how they would work it into the storyline.

From all of this enlightenment, I have learned that when the magician puts the cloth over the lovely assistant, waves his wand and says his hocus pocus, she doesn't really disappear. I know. I too am shocked. Rips away all your suspended belief systems, doesn't it?

No indeed, while the magician is doing the "waves his wand and says his hocus pocus" bit, the lovely assistant opens the trapdoor, climbs into the secret compartment, contorts herself into impossible angles and closes the trapdoor - all the while doing it really, really quietly and without touching the cloth to give anything away.

Do you know what I think? I think magicians are not so stupid as to think that their audience is so stupid as to see these snippets of enlightenment and never go to another magic show. The beauty of a good magician is to get the audience gobsmacked wondering how it is done - it is a very rare person over the age of 10 who hasn't figured that there are indeed tricks.

I think magicians are worried, however. After this, everyone is going to be looking at the assistant and thinking how awesome now.

And do you know what else? I am so jaded that I realise that Network Seven probably aren't the only Network in the world to air this drivel and push it like little pills on their unsuspecting audience.

On that note, here is something magic from another Network Seven show...



(And yes, the credit should really go to Selina, shouldn't it? Great name, by the way...)