Against all good advice – or, apparently, judgement – I have a history with – well, with texture and drama at certain points – and I won't go into that too much in depth except to say I am unable to honestly tick the box foretold in the fairy-tales, the childhood sweetheart.
I know, brazen, wanton hussy that I am, admitting that OUT LOUD, IN PUBLIC.
But to be frank, once you are past the juncture where you can feasibly attain such an object in your life, the requirement to DREAM about it as an ideal is actually futile…
In fact, to continue to search for the possibility is viewed by polite society to be downright immoral and illegal!
And yet – and yet we keep on pushing the notion, the Prince Charming to sweep you off your feet – a reality that, frankly, very few of us end up cashing our chips in on.
Not that I have anything against those of you who found contentment and delight in the first swain to have troubled your doorstep when said doorstep was still shared with your parents.
However, there are many other possible pathways to take in this silly little world we inhabit for however brief a moment in time, and to disallow other possible pathways as plausible in the dreamscape of childhood is narrow, for there is joy to be found in these other avenues also…
The moment of falling in love – deeply, irrevocably in love – with a background of other spectacular moments of falling into deep, irrevocable love in the past isn’t necessarily a lesser thing to that moment of falling in love for the very first time.
It is a DIFFERENT thing, for sure.
But you see, one is impossible with the other - but not the other way around...
That moment of feeling your heart break in new ways over days or weeks or months of mourning for what was not possible in such a relationship.
That moment of realising that, although your heart breaks in new ways, it is healing and embracing what life has to offer.
That moment of understanding that you can be alone in this world and be okay.
That moment of realising you actually are enjoying complete self-reliance in whatever sphere of your life.
That moment of discovering answered needs for a myriad of things in life from a myriad of people in life that proves being part of a community can be buoyant and uplifting.
(Perhaps not that moment of fear of unwanted attention and ill-conceived borders, but hey, they’re not a given.)
Another – and another – and another moment of falling in love…
Although – although as a married woman now, the most staid (and indeed stayed) I have ever been in my life – there are moments in such a life where you do discover other, new moments of falling in love in such a scenario that I would never have imagined in other phases.
The “oh I never noticed” moments, the "I never noticed that" moments, the “oh that is why” moments, the “ohhhh, THAT is why” moments, the “oh? That’s why?” moments and the “I dunno why” moments.
And I would imagine in the amount of growing and changing that takes place between then and now, there would also be renewed falling in loves for such people who number the childhood sweetheart component of the audience.
You would certainly hope so, at least, because they sure as dodo eggs are a declining market - there is a pretty finite market to begin with, and an attrition rate. Anything other would be detrimental to their whole survival – we need them around to study!!
Oh - and the fairy tale game would well and truly be up!