The Stress Free Non Traditional Approach Less Travelled

Bit of background - I have never, ever dreamed of white weddings, marzipan cakes, tuxedos or flowers.

I have been involved in weddings - weddings that were all that, and I an auxillary watching the carnage spectacular from the sidelines.

I have been a doomsayer at the folly of some chasing the elusive dream of a rock, a frock and a c- umm - cute man to share the limousine.

(I have also been to some beautiful events that really meant everything to the people involved and those surrounding them - enough to make me not totally anti the whole kit and caboodle).

So anyway, yesterday we bought some jewellery.

Its not a piece of real estate - not even a small car or kitchen revamp - but it is the most expensive and beautiful piece of jewellery I have ever owned and we chose it during one of those grocery shops and took 'Salina with us to buy it yesterday.

I am not dreading the fact that V and I plan to be together for the long haul - we have been discussing that for ages.

I am, however, a little anxious about the gushes and intense questioning from others about "the chain of events" that this will precipitate.

The news has been broken to my immediate family.

My mother was, as usual, so wonderfully calm and supportive and quite happy about it all. (Considering my mother should take up poker as a possible hobby - unless you run your fingers down her blackboard she will never flinch - this I see as a very positive response).

My father called to congratulate when he got home later - our conversations are never smooth unless they involve mustering strategies, so for us it went very well.

My brother wished to know the details of the proposal. (BTW The details are he asked early, he asked often and he generally got the answer he was looking for) He also wanted to know if we were having a party. I don't know the answer to that - we only just got our proverbial together on jewellery.

My sister, having been primed by an afternoon visit to the parental home and having dined at her husband's extended family (therefore possibly very much primed) beat me to the punch and called me first. She was extremely gushy about it (more excited than me, it seemed) and wanted to know what we had planned thus far.

My sister had a fantastic day in a gazebo followed by drinks, a ferry ride and deluxe dining. Oh, and several hours of photographs (she is a photographer) and 3 beautiful cherubs as well as a very skinny me and a best man - but I do remember a few moments of stress (she is also a bit of a perfectionist).

My brother had a fantastic day on the side of a river on the property followed by a feast in a tent. I think I was fairly stressed then about having a toddler and an untame soon to be ex, so I don't remember much else.

My parents had the traditional church and reception circa 1965.

Our plan thus far is that we want no fuss and a stress-free event some so-far undetermined time in the future. It will possibly be fairly non-traditional to meet our personalities, the inclusion of 'Salina is mandatory, very likely somewhere in Paradise and our budget will enable those who love us enough to come to Paradise to attend should get fed - maybe a bowl or two of chips and some dips, you know...

My sister assures me that "the only stresses will be those you impose on yourself" but I don't know - I am fairly gun-shy and think that a quick whip down to the registry might be in order if it starts to look dicey...

By the way - if you are a "real life" friend and I haven't phoned you and "told you the big news" - well, I am getting to it - still freaking out about the questions I will have to answer.