Friday, August 01, 2008

Okay, I give up

Do you know what I am going to do today?

Call the doctor.

I know people from near and afar have been singing that tune for nearly two weeks now, but I truly thought I was getting better. I WAS getting better. In fact, I would have assessed my health yesterday at 5 as being 85% of the way towards getting better.

Do you know what that narky 15% of "not better" did last night.

It kept me awake.

It forced me to sit up in bed (I am a one flat pillow sleeper). It made me lie on my back (I normally cuddle that pillow on my tum).

It made one tiny spot on the back of my throat force me to cough - and then it got the lungs to squeal in sequence and make that cough into a cough-and-cough-and-cough-and-cough.

Then it would lull me into a false sense of stupidity security and make me think it was over, I could try to sleep, ha ha ha ha bloddy ha. Nearly asleep yet? Wham - lets play that sequence all over again.

It got to a point that I gave up on even trying to think I was going to get to sleep, because it was pointless. That didn't really help matters, because the cough sequence didn't care if I was trying to sleep or not. It just waited until I seemed to relax.

Now the next two paragraphs (after this one) (I counted them) will be TMI and I won't be offended if you sing "la la la", close your eyes and scroll down further. I will be peeved if you click the little black x but hey - its a free world and statcounter doesn't tell me who leaves my pity party early. It will possibly be so layered in euphemism anyway because I am not often a TMI girl.

Now, for those who aren't squeamish, who have birthed one (or more) childrens who hit the 8 pound or over mark and who are nodding their head in anticipation - you KNOW how there are just some things you cannot relax about when you have coughing lurgy.

I know - if you did your Kegels earnestly from the moment of conception to the pain-free, drug-free perfect birth that this does not apply to you - or if you are a Singapore dancer - but some women (and no-one is EVER admitting that it may be them) thought they Kegelled at enough red lights to get a pass found that there are some moments in time - generally accompanied by a cough, a sneeze, or an attempt to jog - where you should have Kegelled stop signs and ceasared two months early just so certain muscles wouldn't get temporary amnesia at crisis moments.

So combine coughing attacks designed to leave me gasping, sleeping positions more suited to wakes, sleep deprivation without the bonus of a screaming infant AND being smited for clenching 29 times a day rather than 40. Is that picture painted clearly enough?

So what do you do when you have all these factors combining? Well, you start thinking about what other carpy aspects of your life you can grind your mind over.
  • Work and money issues? Piece of cake.
  • Funny way other people of the P&C look at each other during meetings? Check.
  • Wearing pretty clothes marked "lingerie" to a dinner party as a child? Oh, its always good to throw into the mix.
  • Twenty years of inappropriate choices in men, careers, flatmates? Oh, I know they are good to laugh at while in the mood, but so nice to use as screws in self-torture.
Heck, even god got a trot last night it was such a widely cast net!

So all up it was a happy hacking clenching wrenching writing pity party. It sucked.

Wehn I awoke this morning (because I must have drifted off between the girl screaming at her boyfriend's car out front and V rising for work) my head was pounding, my coughing attack renewed like it had never been away and I made the monumental decision that perhaps I would seek medical attention. I give up. Taking vitamins, pretending I am getting better, looking at the other medicines - its just not working.

Admitting it caused V to look at me with pity. He knows how much I cling to my pretence at stoicism.

I made my daughter treat me with extra care this morning. She gave me a special seat on her imaginary boat to take me to the doctor, where she gave me cough lollies, sat me down, made me vegemite toast (I must say she is getting better at this) and was an angel. I wish I could appreciate it more.

So - off to track down a doctor who will see me some time today. Then peg out 2 loads of washing, finish one little job, send off three invoices, go and do tuckshop paperwork (I know, but Friday is double any other day of the week in TS and noone else volunteers) (I won't point myself towards any food), go to town, pay bills, get mail, hopefully see a doctor, pack for the weekend, get gussied up, feed daughter, drop her at a friends, network at an art gallery opening (while holding my breath, I guess) dragging V, collect 'Salina, come home and I hope to goodness get a better night's sleep.

17 comments:

Melissa said...

Ouch. Sounds rough.

Hope all went well and that you get a good sleep tonight. :)

Tracey said...

Or maybe they'll send you into the hospital with borderline pneumonia (like they did to me once when I had a similar thing... had never had bronchitis in my life, and I had all of that. (And that was AFTER 2 courses of antibiotics!)

R-E-S-T girl!! (Haahahah... I know... a mother? Rest?'

I know too well how the coughing affects 'downstairs'. Anytime I've had a coug when I happen to be going through a bad patch with my back, I'd be doubled up clenching the pelvic floor muscles, then trying to find another position where the coughing doesn't cause sharp pain shooting from my back!

I hope you find/found a decent doctor, and got some miracle medicine that has kicked in already...

Jen at Semantically driven said...

Hope you get better soon. Perhaps tomorrow you can get V and Salina to look after you while you rest.

Jayne said...

Rest, drink honey and lemon in black tea or Scotch Whiskey in black tea works just as well.

Debby said...

I am glad that you're seeing a doctor. Hope you get better soon.

baby~amore' said...

hope you are feeling better soon and you do get to the Dr.
Put your feet up too.
(hugs)

Alison said...

Yuck. That sounds very miserable.
As I was reading I was thinking quietly how clever you are, admitting defeat and allowing yourself a chance to recover properly.
Then I read the last bit about all the things you're doing today as well as seeing a doctor.
You're nuts! (But I get it.)
If I tell you to rest, will you listen?
Oh well, I'll tell you anyway.
REST!

Bush Babe (of Granite Glen) said...

Oh dear me... I think I might give you a ring!!!
Love your cruel, cruel Big Sis.
BB

Pencil Writer said...

My heart goes out to you! I hope you didn't catch the crud from me! (Never mind the miles and miles of land and oceans between us!) I think we sharing similar symptoms and they are wrotten!!!!

My symptoms began about two weeks ago and the coughing! I had muscle spasms in my back yesterday and the day before, I sure from the endless nighttime coughing spells, and having to nearly sit up, as you mentioned. Miserable misery for sure.

Hope you found a good Doc and got all fixed up.

One night in desperation for relief and sleep I dug through my medicine cupboard and found a prescription cough medicine I hadn't used for some time and it was nearly full. So, thinking it was a slightly different formula, I downed a normal dose.

Man! I was buzzed! It totally knocked me out--at some point and I finally slept w/o coughing, pain, or consciousness. Great for one night. Not going there again any time soon. Buzz and me don't meet too often. It's not my kind of thing to do except in exasperation.

Best wishes (and prayers) for you timely and complete recovery!

Melissa said...

That is one horrible night! I hope you have exactly zero more like it.

tiff said...

Hope you are feeling better soon, my friend.
Coughing is awful.
Coughing at night and not being able to sleep is the pits.

M+B said...

If its a pesky itch that turns into a coughing fest where you wish you done more pelvic floor exercises, and your trying not to vomit from all the coughing while you're just trying to get some air entry before you pass out!

I have one word (plus a couple of letters)... Actifed CC - the one for dry coughs. As one who suffers more from the post nasal drip after the illness, I can vouch it works... a little!!!

Hope it doesn't linger too long.

Mama Zen said...

Oh, I am so sorry that you are miserable, but you make it SO funny!

Alex said...

And yet, in the midst of such pain and anguish, you STILL managed to write an entertaining post!

Get well soon!
Alex
;)

mommamia said...

Hope you got into the Dr and are feeling better.

Debby said...

Jeanie! Jeanie, speak to us, woman!

jeanie said...

Thank you all for your concerns - will update with a new post later, but I am still alive and kicking - kicking back over at my sister's actually, so someone else is cooking and I am on s-l-o-w connection!

Went to doc - she said my positive thinking had worked on the infection but would have no impact on the asthmatic stuff, so have to inhale.

Rest did occur between midnight and 6.30 this morning, and it was much better than the previous evening.

I got through most of my to do's and will update on the lah-di-dah photography (beautiful shots, nice food, made contacts) when I do get round to that update.

In the meantime, bushbabe has gone wild with some chops and spuds, so had best go eat... Apparently some hedgehog is involved (or is it an echidna potato over here?)

Again, thanks all for the comments.