Saturday, February 26, 2011

(Nearly) Teenagers and (nearly) toddlers

When 'Salina was a baby, I met a woman who has been an extra-special friend to me ever since. At the time, she gave me a line I often quote.


Obviously, I forgot this principle when going for the second-time-around motherhood lark, and while we aren't there yet, the threat is looming.

Right now, however, I still advise everyone I meet that the ideal age gap for siblings is 10 years.

When 'Salina first met V, she asked "are you going to marry my mum and give me a baby sister? I think her name should be Ella."

Fairly confronting to a new boyfriend, hey?

Anyhow, after a few years, a wedding and a settling in where V and she developed a great relationship, her question lay idle.

When we finally did get the wheels in motion for such a possibility, 'Salina was very non-plussed. She had grown used to having two adults orbiting her star, and the potentiate of a new baby sister (or brother) was not to be contemplated. "Stop talking about it" she requested during gestation.

Her holdout lasted about 0 seconds once she laid eyes on Paris.

Every time Paris lays eyes on her big sister, she yells out in delight and waves hands and blows kisses. School mornings are not complete without a traditional front door vigil while 'Salina waits for the bus, the afternoons are a great reunion of long lost friends.

And while 'Salina lives in this limbo of not-quite child, not-yet adolescent, she is delighting in her little sister and her development. She is the first to hold her hand out to help her walk. They talk and play and laugh together - and we don't take enough photos of the joy.

We occasionally see clouds of impending teenagehood - and while we know it is unavoidable, we also know how truly terrible we were as teenagers - and hope to goodness 'Salina is not that bad.

We also get glimpses of the dawning of terrible toddlerdom - and I have memories of where 'Salina frayed during her first coming of age.

But right now - right now, we are nowhere near the hell that could be imagined, and we are very, very glad.


Melody said...


I tell people I think 5 years age gap (practically to the day) is perfect. ;-)

MissL gets awfully excited at school pick up - as soon as she spies MissM fills my heart with joy, MissL is soooooo excited!!

I need to somehow take a photo too of the pure joy but I don't think I would ever beable to capture it. =)

Debby said...

My nephew is 15 years older than his sister. They adored each other. And the house did not spontaneously combust. I think you're going to be okay. There will be brief flashes of total chaos, but it is not constant.

Leenie said...

Your two girls look like they belong together! What fun to have such sisters. I hope they can keep that companionship through their lives. Being mom to them will carry its challenges but I have a feeling they will take the edges off the rough spots for you.

My daughter was surprised by a little guy who will be one year old next month. Her oldest is going to college this fall. The new guy makes my daughter's nights less than restful and he's put a few changes in the directions of their lives, but the family loves the almost toddler and orbits around him.

Jayne said...

My girls are 8 and 9 years older than the Feral Aspie child and were great mates with him.

Jen at Semantically driven said...

Enjoy it while it lasts, and hopefully you won't get the teenage/toddler hell! My fella's daughter asked him yesterday if he'd ever get married again while I was sitting there. They certainly know how to cut to the chase don't they.

Tamsyn said...

Looking at the photos of the two girls together I can't imagine either of them ever setting a foot wrong. They're gorgeous!!

BUSH BABE said...

Ah - now you are making me homesick!!

Beet said...

I think they'll be okay as long as they don't have to share a room! I have vivid hellish memories of having to share my room with a toddler as a teen and it was horrible for all concerned

Missy Boo said...

Wishing you a journey free of toddler tantrums, and teenage angst at the same moments!