Doctors dumbfounded and specialists stupefied

 "A Hospital failure cured" reads the headline when searching for a forebear "John Burgess"

I do not think that the gentleman cited is my great -great-grandfather, as he was never a greengrocer.

It was read with great mirth.

Enjoy this advertising extravaganza with me.

From The Bundaberg Mail and Burnett Advertiser - Fri 14 Jan 1898 - Page 3 

 A Hospital Failure Cured.

DOCTORS DUMBFOUNDED AND SPECIALISTS STUPEFIED.

It then goes on to introduce you to a gent who "was cured at last by Dr Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People."

I don't think that this ad would pass the pub test these days.

But maybe they were onto something.

Mr John Burgess, in conversation with our reporter, had "been an invalid for over nine years, suffering from hip-joint disease and sciatica."

(My great-great-grandfather  had also never been "thrown out of a cab" or indeed been to Botany)

After six months at the Prince Alfred Hospital he was deemed incurable.

A hopeless case, to the extent that his third and last doctor  stated that "he did not wish to visit me any longer, as it was simply taking money out of my pocket to put into his, without being able to afford me the slightest relief."

I would quote the whole thing but am not sure of the copyright requirements of an ad from an (a?) 129 year old newspaper.

Anyhoo , he eventually (after a litany of woe) is "induced to try Dr Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People." 

This stuff, after only seven boxes had performed miracles, allowing him to hitch up horse and cart again to rebuild his greengrocer enterprise in a competitive market.

He then most graciously allowed the journalist to print his assertions and attach his name to it.

The ad then went on to extol the virtues and how to not be swindled by poor imitations.

They seem to be good for all that ails you.

I wonder what was in them.

I wish they could work it out, because this stuff was "a specific for the troubles peculiar to the female system, and in the case of men they effect a radical cure in all cases arising from mental worry, overwork, and excess of any nature".

Top stuff, hey?