Thursday, May 30, 2024

The Middle

 Statistically, middles were approaching extinction until the intervention of both the pragmatism of need for aged-care workers and the whimsy of big family Mum bloggers.

In the good old days, families writhed with multiple marriages and fluctuating child records by the score - the role of the middle was shared by many, easily outnumbering the sole oldest of the brood and the never-really-sure-of-their-retainment-of-their-title youngest child. With the balancing equation of mortality, the middle was the far likeliest title of whoever you met.

In the modern world, however, we have our time-saving devices and keeping more and more people alive in more age categories and ability to control our fertility and make considered choices about the children that we conceive and carry. 

Is the most numerous the oldest now? 

This was by the logic that every oldest has been the youngest but not every youngest has been the oldest. Does that work?

Only children can be both.

 It takes at least three children to even get one precious middle these days.

Of course, once you get over 3, the middles are the majority.

I do know that when you come from a family of three, and you were the middle, you were never the only child at home.

Put away the violins! That wasn't what I meant. 

I read an article tonight about kids going to kindy at 3, and the family folklore was that my big sister was sent to kindy early as she would get bored at home.

 These days I think that it was for Mum to catch her breath in dealing with the "dream" of having a big kid and a baby, but that took a thick lens of hindsight.

I also think that big sister missed having her Mum. Both of them did. 

By the time I was a big kid, Mum had my baby brother AND a schoolgirl to juggle.

I never got her alone.

Then I look at the family of my 6th great-great-grandfather, born himself in the melee in the middle of 6, then had 13 children with two wives, all peasant labourers in small neighbourhood communities where at least two generations either side had come from less than 5 miles away.

All very, very middle.

Now we three are dealing with being there more for our parents. Pretty darned happy that I am one of three.

And the middle. Love you both heaps (& your spouses)

BTW history nuts - I googled "what happened in 1703 UK" and found out about the great storm. Oh my.

4 comments:

Kelly said...

So much to consider in this post! I'm the youngest of four, but very spread out and both parents died too early... so some of what you said rang true, other stuff not so much so.

Anonymous said...

We love you too, dear Middle One. Always surrounded with 💓 when you think about it... your Big Sister BB

gz said...

Lucky you to be the Middle One..I'm the eldest..it was a relief when the youngest arrived after 3½ years..he was the wanted boy. Mother was glad then to see me off to school soon after. I wonder if he had been a girl , she would have been the middle one and I'd have had a fellow conspirator 😄

jeanie said...

I did answer this! The youngest is often a scary position Kelly - with eldest there you stay, once middle there you stay. I suppose spread out you may have been affirmed of that role.
Surrounded by good folk BB
I once threw the "you only wanted a boy and a girl, I was the mistake in the middle" at my mother during teenage angst. Very dramatic!