Had a look at the map - where are my words of wisdom being read and why?
Would you believe
- there are people in China, Poland, Germany, USA, the Netherlands, Canada, Italy, Belgium, England, Switzerland and Australia - all seeking various forms of plastic bag fetishes - please folks - its ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT;
- in South Africa they are after tuck shop ladies;
- United Arab Emirates have a Harry thing going;
- someone in Iran wanted a "picture of girl sicling" and instead got last years Easter post;
- some poor person in Florida looked for "Jeanie the Wonder Cleaner" will have been sorely disappointed to have found this little whinge; and
- many many folk all over the world want the English translation for "moja mala djevojĨica"
Therefore, I shall not make you wade through my shoe posts this week just for the chance to win a poetry book with two of my poems in (woo hoo - and a yarn as to how come I have it to give away later in the week).
I shall instead make you suffer only half as much, and I ask you to comment on any post this week! That is right, any genuine punters just have to raise their hands (those still looking for plastic - just keep your hands above the table), tell me they read my ramblings (I won't even make you say you enjoy the experience) and I will put an individual piece of paper into a hat and randomly select on Tuesday, 13th May one LUCKY winner.
Of course, if you give me feedback on any of the shoe posts I might give you a pair. Of entries, that is.
Oh, but still just ahead in my search stats? Folding Fitted Sheets
Which just goes to show - housework (and age) still beats fetishes (and freshness). Good to know.
15 comments:
OK, I loved the Folding Fitted Sheets post!!
I still haven't quite mastered it, but...
People search the WEIRDEST things. The skid mark panty fetishes are crazy. Oops, now you'll found out too!
Wait? I'm suppose to fold fitted sheets?
Heh! Well, I you know I read anyway, and comment, and not just to get something in return but just because I want to. So there :)
Don'tcha love reading how people found you? My favourite is 'bunny hole porn' for mine. Umm what?
(reposting comment as I can't effing spell today)
lol Jeanie!
How did you get those stats? I want to see mine too!
the biggest hits I get are for a pic of the birthday cake I made last year where I used the front cover of the womens weekly kids cake book on my blog and people looking up either "smelly" or "poo".
nice huh? but it gives me a laugh I guess
Wait, you've had poetry published? Details!
Cathy - no-one really gets more points for mastery, but your linen cupboard appreciates.
queen of shake-shake - why do people look for such strange things? Regarding the fitted sheets - just understand it is possible, there are no "pass or fail" grades offered.
alice - too bad, you are still in the draw! I am now even more curious as to why people look for strange stuff.
shish - I don't recall the birthday cake being either of those things.
lin - look up statcounter and you can have a free account that gives you such info.
jen - who is wearing the paper bag in the searches. Do they not get that joke?
mama zen - a post is coming how I became a published poet.
I think in general people are deeply, deeply disturbed on some level (or more). LOL
And prev. post...they locked you up for three weeks? What, like cats? Make sure you bonded to the new place, got the scent of it?
I mainly get discreet versus discrete.
I can only thank the gods of grammar that enough people care and try to get it right. I also get emails: thanks for explaining this in a way that made me finally understand!
Yep, that's my audience. LOL
I love looking at my stats- I find the weirdest crap! :D
Folding fitted sheets...you mean everyone doesn't just roll those suckers up like I do? :P
Oooops I didn't mean to steal your next post. But then again you have plenty more shoe stories.
Let me know if you need me to refresh your memory.
If only your little tootsies and mine were the same size. I could have off loaded some of them. They don't call me Emelda for nothing.
You'll be pleased to know that I can only wear one pair to work now - steel caps at that. Very stylish I must say.
So to counteract the limiting of my footwear at work by OH&S regs, I did manage to purchase a lovely new ruby coloured suede pair last week. I'm sure you'd approve.
lol Julie - I love the scenting angle on our incarceration!
thank you for visiting and commenting, Christie!
jayne - rolling, scrunching and shoving are all perfectly legitimate things to do with fitted sheets - its just nice to know there are alternatives...
aniqa - that is okay. Ruby red steel caps, eh?
Wishing you a very happy mother's day!!
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