We went to see the school concert last night. Can you see me hiding my delight?
When I began blogging, I reviewed the last school concert we attended.
It was not the main reason that I joined the P & C, but one bonus was my influence might work on the selection of fare available for such soirees.
Of course, a lot of water has passed under that particular bridge since that decision and me and the P & C aren't spending so much time together these days - but I still try to show an interest.
Apparently there was also steak with some onion was available last night - I wouldn't know, as circumstances are such (although the promise is it will change by Friday) that frivolities like buying crap at a School Concert is currently not worked into the budget.
Otherwise, sausage on bread, softdrinks, chips and chocolate was what was available for eats.
But that is not what bugs me today.
And it isn't the fact that for six months you can ask people "what can I do" to get a vague "nothing" and then know that if you ask on the night you will be working the whole night because anyone who asked got the same response until D-day. Is the term "put your name on the roster" that hard to grasp? Well, it is if there is no (expletive deleted) roster because there are control issues involved. Not, not that at all.
Don't get me started on the petty politics of the P & C either - now is not the time of the month to see such frothing at the bit - but that is not my whinge du jour either.
No indeed, it is the fact that a perfectly fantastic concert showcasing our children was ruined by longevity.
The theme was "Vaudeville" - and do you know how much I ached for a crook or a box of tomatoes for the last hour and a half?
The seeds of doubt were planted in my mind when the new principal decided to open with a longwinded speech, but kickoff was set for 6.30 and by 6.45 we had the green light for the real entertainment of the evening.
By 7, we were starting to get (expletive deleted) off with waiting for the show to start already.
To give them credit, the first hour of the show was okay. Its always fun to watch the little kids sing and dance, and they did. The 12 inch remix of a particularly boring song with two words may not have been the ideal choice. And they might have thought to concertina these three classes into one song and dance routine rather than give us the mental room to realise that there were another 12 acts to go, and given the timing thus far we might get out by midnight.
Unfortunately, then the creativity of the children and individual teachers began to shine through.
Word to the choreographers of the 8 year old boys division - a few classes explaining the term "preparation" wouldn't go astray.
Putting the child of the P & C president and staff teacher on for a full mime sequence may have worked - if he had a routine to work with, a chorus line to play to OR indeed less than 10 minutes to fill.
Oh, and the comedy skit featuring someone elses hands and underwear jokes - the clue to a good routine is making people actually laugh, and someone should have road-tested that one.
Not that it was all bad - I mean, 'Salina's class did brilliantly - and I am pretty sure that is not just because I am her parent but because obviously some thought had gone into three of the main rules of entertainment - keep it short, keep it sharp and get on and off the stage quickly.
So the second hour was a bit up and down.
The third hour took about five hours, I swear - even the kids on stage had that "get me the (expletive deleted) out of here" glaze to their eyes - mirrored by those of the audience that were left.
Still - it was an improvement on last time - it finished at 9 rather than 10 this time around, and I had enough foresight to have a stew ready for us when we got home.
What would you sit through for you child?
What is a polite way to yank them out of the auditorium early?
How the heck are any of them going to perform at the swimming carnival today?