Bath R-ant

So I was having a bath.

(no, not for the last 4 1/2 months - although there be former flatmates who may attest that I have attempted such in the past - I was doing other things, like trying to remember to put all of my passwords in a safe place so I wouldn't have to do the whole find myself online again malarky I go through every quarter or so to update my blog)

As I was saing, I was having a bath.  I do like a bath.  I like a long bath, a warm bath - a bath you can relax and read in.

The book wasn't that crash hot, but Paris was in bed (hooray) asleep (miracles) and I didn't have any work needing my attention that evening (hallelujah).

I was teetering on that precipice of deciding whether the book was worthy of persevering with or not.  I am old enough and have wasted enough time on reading to be fairly ruthless regarding what is worthy or not - it doesn't just rely on literary merit (heck, I don't mind a bit of trash in my voracious diet) but also on whether I actually can be bothered with the main character - and she was getting on my nerves in the first 15 (crucial) pages. 

However, as I said, water warm, no humans in need of me - teetering.

When I was pushed - by an ant.


I know!  Me too!  What was an ant doing in my bathroom - let alone bathtub!!

Apparently, finding my neck rather tender...

I grabbed him (or her, really, isn't it?  We actually had an Attenborough thing on ants today, and they're all girls) - so, I grabbed her and she was HUGE!!!


Well, probably not that big, but big enough to shriek at and fling - into the water beside my knee.

Double eek - I didn't want to condemn her to death - just because my neck had got in her way doing whatever she was doing in my bathroom - and so I tried to sort of swish her to the side.

Funny thing about physics and waves and water - that which swishes, swishes back, and so the more swish I applied, the more back towards my knee she came.

I then tried to push a wave towards the end of the bath, and at first it seemed to work - she went past the knee and calf area, and was almost at ankle-entry point when the swish-back interfered again with my cunning plan.

Not only did she swish back, she swished back quicker and on the crest of a wave, it appeared!

When she was back to almost knee level, I dropped the whole "don't want to condemn her to death" stance for the more selfish "don't want her taking me down" viewpoint.

I threw down the book and grabbed the washer - and in the ensuing mayhem, LOST SIGHT OF THE ANT completely.

She wasn't in the water...

She didn't appear to be on the washer (although my eyesight is dodgy at the best of times)...

Dear god, I hoped that she wasn't on my body hiding out somewhere?

I frantically washed and emptied the bathtub, calling for V - who failed to respond (probably because it was yelled at a very low level, so as not to stir Paris - and probably because I yelled it at normal Jeanie-range, which is not always at normal V-hearing range).

I eventually dressed with dread, fearing that every fibre on the surface of my body would ping to the presence of the ant at any minute.

I think I may be showering for the next few months...
 

Anyway, that's my excuse - what's yours?

Today we welcomed Spring

This morning you would not have anticipated this afternoon at all.

This morning promised a search for self-entertainment in confined spaces due to impending inclemency...

But it seemed it was not to be

For today we welcomed spring.

Nature spoke in the back yard of Paradise this month.

I have helped entertain 8 households with herbs these past few weeks

The coriander exuberantly bolted upwards, delighting in the sunlight and warmth

Galloping gaily towards bloom.

Echoed by the abundance of the legume hedge.

Youthful exuberance coupled with a basic failure in understanding the principles behind the gentle parental guidance to use two hands to harvest

 

Means it is a mess,

 a mass of vines and flowers and suddenly apparent pods

Our centre of philosophical corn still stands

The pyramid of tomatoes above received a hearty prune

(as did the hedge of romas, cherrys and a curiously striped tiger variation in the corner eco-system)

And we look forward to a million and two green tomato time bombs.

In the last go round of the Garden Share Collective (thank you Lizzie from strayedtable for your inspiration.  My "if I had not a care in the world" daydream this week was the workshop they ran over the weekend) - anyhow, in the last go round of the GSC, one thing that truly struck me was the number of fellow gardeners and bloggers out there who had a completely different relationship with the avialae genus than we

who actually encourage and plant trees

Specifically for their property

Of attracting birds.

You know you are in paradise

When you are sipping coffee

 
on a Sunday afternoon

And have the luxury of feeling acceptance

By birdlife

(who incidentally also display territorial spats and marketing campaigns of suitors-to-be

indicative of Spring-ie 
Potency.

We even squeezed in a trip to the playground and beach

I have just pulled a loaf of bread out of the oven

Finished colouring my hair

And ticked a major list item off

In finally kicking to the kerb the el-cheapo DVD player

That frustrated us greatly with its

None too cute inability of translating the frantic jabbing at grey buttons on a black box

And tendency to tantrum and switch off like a 14 year old with a Manga habit.

How was your Sunday?

Get a tree!!

(Warning - this post has the potential of going outside of the G rating zone I stick to - there is sex, tail tagging, near death experiences, swearing and horror. There are even pictures.)

Our household consists of two adults, two children (one big, one little) and a cat.

Because we have the cat, the fly screen to the kitchen is permanently open - so our household would consist of two adults, two children (one big, one little), a cat and a million flies were it not for this guy:


So really, our household consists of two adults, two children (one big, one little), a cat and a gecko.

Anyhow - as of today, our household consists of two adults, ONE child, a cat and a gecko because the big child is on holidays at Auntie Bush Babe's for the week.

Resultantly, all humans currently in the household were in the kitchen this evening, preparing a lovely meal of tuna, onions, garlic, lemon, tomatoes and feta (it was delicious) when we found out something about our household.

It is not a household of two adults, two children (one big, one little), a cat and a gecko.

Indeed - it appears to be a household of two adults, two children (one big, one little), a cat and at least two geckos...



Yes - a household of two adults, two children (one big, one little), a cat and potentially many, many geckos.

It is hard to concentrate greatly on the doings of the dish when the doings are stuck to the ceiling and going at it like - well, like tantric dummies really. The gecko has staying power, I must say, but as to the mutual joy I admit I heard no sighs and saw no cigarettes...

Anyhow, at some point the cat joined us in the kitchen and after a moment or two, with a loud THUNK the geckos disengaged from each other AND the ceiling. This perked the cat up no end - and he pounced on the less fleet of foot.

Gecko 1 was last seen sneaking off behind the microwave, no doubt feeling a bit stressed that the afterglow of passion was diminished.

Gecko 2 was cornered by the ginger ball of fluff, and did what geckos do in such situations, dropping its tail which wriggled across the linoleum. Unfortunately the Eddie is far too dense to be taken in by such shenanigans (okay, he probably didn't notice it) and pounced on the remaining 7/8s of gecko 2.

I screamed. Paris was intriged.

V was dispatched to open a window and arm himself with the dustpan and brush. He hunted Eddie and his prisoner down into the lounge room and somehow freed the prisoner (my hero) and gave Gecko 2 an express trip to the wilds of outback Paradise.

Calling Upon Minions to Fluff the Fur

Bush Babe has invited us to share our pets - as we are Eddie's pets, here are a few shots of our little lord...

(BTW - once upon a time, Axel - Bush Babe's Giant Dane - came to visit Eddie. They didn't really gel. Eddie spent most of his time in the spare room pretending he didn't care there was a giant canine in the outdoors section of his domain, anytime Axel saw the Ginger King he was amazed there was a fluffier version of the black vixen who lords it over him at home.)


(PS I know this is an extremely incongruous post after yesterday, but sometimes we have to embrace the fluff to make the reality a little less stark. They have charged someone.)

Amongst things that don't bring on labour

###DISCLAIMER###
Debby - you may go straight to the comments section and talk about Copenhagen. I really don't think it is in your best interests to read this one. It involves a word starting with the letter S and is something you really don't want to read about.

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Today, Nana (my mother), who has been with us for a week to look after 'Salina should I have the unborn whilst school was still in, packed up and took 'Salina out to Granite Glen. She will return when the baby is born.

This means tonight is the first - and possibly the last - child-free evening for some weeks.

You know what this means?

Curry...

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V and I were in the kitchen, preparing for our feast.

I had cubed and salted eggplant and chopped many vegetables. V was doing the same with pork.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Eddie go past. I automatically checked his bowl and added some dried.

Some 5 minutes later, our early chores in the kitchen completed, we moved into the living room.

---

Suddenly V turned around and told me to get out of the house!!

What he had seen and I had not was Eddie was playing in the living room with his latest toy - obviously all the craze at the moment - a baby brown snake...#

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While there may have been a nanosecond of two of indecision about me leaving my mate in the path of danger and endorsing a policy contrary to my feminist leanings*, common sense prevailed and continuation of species was ensured. I fled downstairs and out to the front of the house, so I could remotely monitor the battle between freaked out husband, snake and cat.

---

I could hear V. There was the occasional utterance of a colour phrase or two regarding the stupidity of ginger cats, placement and awkwardness of furniture and piles of "stuff" in the living room and advice to the reptile.

Then there was a long silence.

"Honey" I piteously wabled, mentally working out what I should do in regards to all number of catostrophic possibilites.

A pregnant pause.

"Honey" a little bit louder.

Finally I hear a drawer and the reassuring snap-snap of the tongs - long-handled tongs, I would have surmised based on the tonal quality fear-factor inherent in the situation.

V came to the window and explained the situation and momentarily bemoaned the lack of following through an earlier idea of actually acquiring the local snake-catchers' numbers, all the while checking over his left shoulder for the baby brown to stir from behind a large desk.

Mid-sentence, he swivelled and was gone from view.

---

Eddie appeared around the side of the house, cool as a cucumber. He came and rubbed against my legs like it was perfectly normal for the two of us to be sharing the front yard of an early evening.

A strange hissing sound came from the house. I contemplated whether snakes really did hiss as per the cartoons - all snakes in my history have not, but that is not conclusive proof.

Then again came the hissing, and it was definitely not of the herpetic variety. A strange smell accompanied the sound.

Then there was banging, then there was banging and hissing, then there was banging and hissing and snap-snapping.

Eddie completely ignores this and attempts to lay a whole heap of love on me.

---

A finale then silence.

Emerging on the balcony was a victorious V, tongs aloft with the snake. As he came downstairs and across to where the snake was disposed of, Eddie attempted to walk off as if there was nothing at all concerning in this scenario.

I grabbed the felonious feline and carried him upstairs, ready to rouse as soon as I had him safely locked within.

---

I quickly cooked up the base ingredients of the curry and then added the magic Hot Singapore Curry Sauce and covered the curry to cook through.

---

Dinner was delicious, the cat is completely freaked out, for some reason imagining the snake is still in the house.

# It was not the same type or types previously seen.

* I saw a tea-towel in a dollar shop today. It would have been worth a blog and may be in the future, but the short version is it was branded "Feminist Tea-Towel" and wasn't. V got the full version of the vent...

Oh - and the hissing - Fast Knockdown apparently is an inspirational choice for snake-bamboozling.

Hold Your Hats

I know - posting twice in a week!!!

But that is because Eddie has done something twice this week.

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The first was on Sunday.

'Salina and I had gone down to the beach for a swim. V finished painting her room and then came down to join us. As my burn threshhold is set to something well prior to theirs, I returned first.

(BTW - V's threshhold was about 1/2 an hour before he thought it was. 'Salina has inherited the sort of genes from either her auntie or her father that sort of only hits red in direst of circumstances OR under her eyes.)

(That was an aside. I have an "aside" habit.)

Anyhow, I returned to wash off some salt and sand, and about to head towards the stairs that lead to the back door, spied Eddie playing with something.

Something long and thin - and still moving...

I got close enough to identify "snake" (albeit obviously a baby, but I can be a bit of a baby about snakes) and then scarpered back to the front steps and locked all doors - Eddie has a habit of bringing his playthings in to the house, and frankly this is the sort of sport I would like to discourage - especially in this particular instance.

I was thoughtful enough to text my husband and child, warning them of the danger...

When they returned, we found Eddie had sported a fair bit of the play out of it (although not to death, so he isn't a felon - yet. Apparently snakes are all protected species)

I handed V the long-handled tongs and armed myself with the camera and the poor blighter was captured (in the laundry - enough incentive to neglect my new toy for a few hours) and released back into the wilds of across the road.

As you saw from my photo, I wasn't very brave in getting close-up shots!

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So fast-forward to today. I was working from home, and V came home from work early. He went downstairs to grab some coke - and found Eddie in the garage with a new toy. Another snake.

This one definitely still at a far livelier stage of play, and at the appearance of V made a move to escape. The best hiding spot he could see was a pile of bags (containing 'Salina's worldly possessions, as her room is being painted and recarpeted) and so he scampered.

Eddie contemplated a chase, but V with a broom dissuaded him. Eddie eventually came to where I was (by now by the back stairs after a yell to "come hold Eddie" from V).

V - with trusty rake - started sorting through the bags. Finally, in one (filled with painting supplies and canvasses) he struck gold, and manouvred it to the front lawn. He upended the contents and the snake did an excellent job of hiding under everything until there was nothing left to hide under - so he turned to go back into the bag - rake stopped him.

Then her looked at what was holding the rake and decided he would chase that instead. (insert girly scream from wife here)

V did a dance with the snake and the rake until the snake saw a garden bed to hide in.

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So - guess which garden bed will NOT be weeded this afternoon? And guess who WON'T be doing it?

See - that is better than belly stories.

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oh, and for those who want asides - the first snake was - we believe - a yellow-bellied black snake - or for those who like their snakes less fancy, a common tree snake. Perfectly harmless unless you are a frog.

Today's snake was either one of them OR it could have been a whip snake. Potentially poisonous. V thinks the former - not for the venom aspect, but because the whip snake reaches only 80cm, and he thinks this one was HUGE!!

If it is the former - the fact that we have a nest somewhere for Eddie to forage freaks me out.

Oh - and if YOU want to freak out to local snakes, here is a link...