Sunday, September 19, 2010

Get a tree!!

(Warning - this post has the potential of going outside of the G rating zone I stick to - there is sex, tail tagging, near death experiences, swearing and horror. There are even pictures.)

Our household consists of two adults, two children (one big, one little) and a cat.

Because we have the cat, the fly screen to the kitchen is permanently open - so our household would consist of two adults, two children (one big, one little), a cat and a million flies were it not for this guy:

So really, our household consists of two adults, two children (one big, one little), a cat and a gecko.

Anyhow - as of today, our household consists of two adults, ONE child, a cat and a gecko because the big child is on holidays at Auntie Bush Babe's for the week.

Resultantly, all humans currently in the household were in the kitchen this evening, preparing a lovely meal of tuna, onions, garlic, lemon, tomatoes and feta (it was delicious) when we found out something about our household.

It is not a household of two adults, two children (one big, one little), a cat and a gecko.

Indeed - it appears to be a household of two adults, two children (one big, one little), a cat and at least two geckos...

Yes - a household of two adults, two children (one big, one little), a cat and potentially many, many geckos.

It is hard to concentrate greatly on the doings of the dish when the doings are stuck to the ceiling and going at it like - well, like tantric dummies really. The gecko has staying power, I must say, but as to the mutual joy I admit I heard no sighs and saw no cigarettes...

Anyhow, at some point the cat joined us in the kitchen and after a moment or two, with a loud THUNK the geckos disengaged from each other AND the ceiling. This perked the cat up no end - and he pounced on the less fleet of foot.

Gecko 1 was last seen sneaking off behind the microwave, no doubt feeling a bit stressed that the afterglow of passion was diminished.

Gecko 2 was cornered by the ginger ball of fluff, and did what geckos do in such situations, dropping its tail which wriggled across the linoleum. Unfortunately the Eddie is far too dense to be taken in by such shenanigans (okay, he probably didn't notice it) and pounced on the remaining 7/8s of gecko 2.

I screamed. Paris was intriged.

V was dispatched to open a window and arm himself with the dustpan and brush. He hunted Eddie and his prisoner down into the lounge room and somehow freed the prisoner (my hero) and gave Gecko 2 an express trip to the wilds of outback Paradise.


Leenie said...

If never seen IT done THAT way. I know the rest of us consider you "down under" but that is taking upside down WAAAY too far.

Sooooo do you know if it was the potential mama or the potential proud papa that got to stay? Will you have to wait? And if so, how long?

Crazed Nitwit said...

Never a dull moment in your household!! Sex and violence! I'm shocked and appalled!!!!


BB said...


I hope the Mother doesn't see you sharing your gecko porn with the world at large... *covers eyes*

Poor old Eddie. Just doin' what comes naturally... apparently most of the occupants were tonight!

Pencil Writer said...

There are tears in my eyes and my stomach is aching. From laughing so hard. I LOVE how you tell the story, whatever story. Please, please (in your NOT SO much spare time) write a book. Please!!????!!

As to the gecko romance, I was wondering if one of "our" geckos was priming for romantic endeavors the other night as #1 slowly approached #2 (no clues as to gender of either. I'm thinking #1 was the male of the species, and #2 was, well, most probably the female) "he" was very cautious, it seemed to me. After a few minutes of this gentle approach I was a little amused by the response of #2. It was swift and aggressive. And negative. #1 scuttled off to a distant corner of the window, leaving me to wonder what was going on. Was #1 tormenting another #1 for sport? Who knows. I'll muse no longer.

And hopefully Eddie and V removed the potential for future generations of said geckos populating the household of two adults, two children (one big, one little), a cat and an unknown number of possible geckos. :-}

Debby said...

Oh, gads Jeanie. I howled. Those two exhibitionists...and in front of an impressionable baby too. For SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!!! They'd already sunk so low that dropping off the ceiling seemed entirely redundant.

jeanie said...

Leenie - I agree, V and I did look sideways (and upside-down) a few times trying to work out the contortions. No idea who was who before, during or after - so it will be a surprise.

Crazed Nitwit - who needs television, hey?

BB - note, the disclaimer was mainly for The Mother's benefit.

Pencil Writer - I have no doubt gecko sexual politics are convoluted and scary...

Debby - how glad was I not to have to explain things to a 10 year old girl?

Debby said...

Cripes Jeanie. She's at BB's. Probably watching them do pregger checks on the cows they artificially inseminated a while back. WAAAAAAAAAAAAY better than watching two geckos go at it on the ceiling.

Melody said...

Lol!!! Big time! Hilarious.

We have geckos in the UAE too and our villa seems to have quite a few baby ones poking around. *shudder* Just as long as I don't see Mum & Dad gecko (or them 'going for it') I'll ignore them...

KayK said...

lol so funny. i'm not a wildlife warrior but the 'asian housegecko' is an imported species that does a bit too well i think.. i don't where you are in Qld, i am in SouthEast, and my husband says he noticed these geckos first about 10 years ago.I first liked them, for the bugs and cuz they're cute but "Gecko season" about to start here, last summer we had up to 8 in our kitchen !! and more on the patio. they 'chuck-chuck-chuck', they fight, they actually POOP too. but i've never seen them 'do it'. nice one, lol.

Anonymous said...

I want to know how you have managed to stay at just one gecko! We have at least 100, and had even more in the other house. I love them, the way they chatter away and call. Keeps me and the cat amused for hours. Watch out for the falling eggs, the mamma's don't alway make it to he laying spot!

jeanie said...

Debby - ah yes, funnily enough far easier to explain science than nature sometimes.

Melody - its funny, I never imagine wildlife in UAE. I learned something.

Welcome KayK - they are, unfortunately, the barking ones - surprisingly quiet when doing the baby dance, however.

Rhu - I too wonder at the 1 in the kitchen - obviously good at keeping down the competition. In the other rooms there are many but Eddie gives them a run (and a jump) for their money.