Tuesday, October 06, 2009

List of 50 lessons learned over the weekend...

  1. If your organisational skills are in any way reliant on your washing machine being timely, be prepared for rude reminders that your washing machine has a mind of its own, and it is going to be as obstreperous as possible.

  2. Even if you chose to circumvent the time consuming nature of the washing machine by employing the dryer, you will not be guaranteed that it will either be timely OR completely dry its contents.

  3. To get through the list and retain as much whinging time as possible in the day you may be tempted to gloss over some more "houseworky" items. Do so at your own peril - for although the "there will always be housework" advice rings true, there will always be MORE housework for those who slacken.

  4. A plant is a great present. A citrus tree is a marvellous present. An overloaded sedan with a child in the back seat (who has a track record with defoliation) and a (prickly) citrus tree loses something in the fantastic present giving feeling process.

  5. Getting away at any point earlier than when you are ready is impossible. Getting away at any point earlier than an hour later than you thought was possible is also impossible. Getting to the other end of the journey earlier is also a feat worthy of Hercules no matter what the leaving time is, so do not dispair.

  6. You meet interesting people waiting for the toilets in petrol stations.

  7. If you decide to go off the highway to find some local fare for dinner and see a Fish'n'Chip Shop doing a roaring trade, do not thing "oh we can come back to that if we can't find anything else", because
    1. you may not pass by that way again,
    2. even though you may not get lost, you may get disconcerted by this strange town,
    3. some towns are downright creepy at night, and
    4. you may be disappointed in the final dinner options available and contemplate many what if's.

  8. Noodles are impossible to eat while driving - even if you got a fork.

  9. Apparently not all Mongolian Beefs taste like Mongolian Beef. Some Mongolian Beefs are a little bit sweet and satay-ey.

  10. Apparently when chilli is mentioned as a flavour on the noodle menu for your totally foreign sounding second dish, this is a serious promise.

  11. Some children have crap taste in pizza toppings.

  12. Some pizza franchises have crappier pizza topping options than others - and if you are not a connoisseur of pizza franchises you will invariably end up with flavours out of your experience range.

  13. 9 year old girls happy to be having crap pizza for dinner will not notice.

  14. Drivers frustrated with noodles and requiring food will - but will eat anyway (thinking about the what-ifs of Point 7).

  15. Giving a 9 year old child the task of calling relatives to advise of dinner plans and estimated destination times will be successful in the transmission, but by talking to another 9 year old to give details will not guarantee the adults at the destination will know of said dinner plans.

  16. The alphabet game has 3 very difficult letters - J, Q and Z - on a highway. I truly feel for anyone not living in Queensland on the second of those 3 letters.

  17. The decision to go through the guts of a city rather than facing the task of using a tollway that now has no options for payment ON said tollway is a good one generally late of an evening.

  18. Well, it is a good one if you do not decide to go through an area where many people converge on a Friday night to drink copiously and act like buffoons.

  19. Drivers who do tend to travel into said areas are rude, arrogant schmucks who do not understand the concept of "keeping intersections clear".

  20. This applies equally to professional drivers (buses, taxis) as to the unprofessional variety.

  21. There is at least 1 lovely policeman in Brisbane who deserved the round of applause received in our car when he cleared the intersection after we had waited for 5 light changes to get through and on our way.

  22. Harking back to point 16, said relatives will wait dinner for you until ungodly hours if it is in their culture to offer food on arrival.

  23. Noone is really that hungry at 11pm.

  24. Pregnant feet swell horribly after being in a car for most of 6 hours.

  25. 'Salina has excellent reflexes for kicking cousins when being kicked - even when asleep and top and tailing in bed.

  26. 72 year old ladies who have had 2 knee replacements will look much younger and happier with the success of said operation.

  27. Cultural offering of food is fantastic when one is hungry enough to appreciate the gesture.

  28. No matter how much you eat, some cultures like to insist on you eating more!

  29. Instincts on finding parking spots based on experience over 3 years out of date are occasionally pleasantly surprising in their abilities.

  30. Meeting up with women who, in some cases, you have not seen for 23 years at a venue you have never been to can be daunting.

  31. Never arrive on time for such a meeting - you will require a pot plant to hide behind while people watching and a task to perform while waiting.

  32. Mobile phones are handy to find said task.

  33. Some people change beyond recognition in 23 years.

  34. Luckily, some people don't.

  35. Ankles can resemble balloons after a day of Brisbane heat (especially after driving the night before).

  36. Never buy household staples at petrol stations!

  37. 'Salina can eat fish that have bones, heads and tails in tact.

  38. She prefers them to be filleted, though.

  39. Uncles can be very indulgent.

  40. Houses can be built on the sides of hills. This is especially freaky to us now, as there is only 1 HILL in the realm of paradise.

  41. Hills are beautiful.

  42. Even if you didn't love a house you once lived in, it is still sad to find a block of apartments where it stood.

  43. Children, no matter how much they love one another, need time out (more so if both children are onlys)

  44. A champion team can beat a team of champions (especially if a large section of the former are Queenslanders!).

  45. 23 year old people are an excellent addition to the dinner table - even if they do make you very cognisant of your age. This especially applies when you mention a year that you suddenly realise was prior to their birth!!

  46. The road home can seem quite long. Never more so than when you are behind the sort of driver that speeds for overtaking lanes and dawdles on the in-betweens.

  47. You never know who you will run into at a park 200km from where you live and 200km from where they live.

  48. This is far more likely to happen if the park has a great playground, of course.

  49. Sometimes trying a new road will save you time and let you see some wonderful sights.

  50. Cats do not appreciate being left for an extended period in a safe and healthy environment, and are not afraid to shirk from yelling their displeasure at you.
I feel like a far more enlightened person.

Did your weekend teach you anything?


Anonymous said...

Love it. This is my favourite point:

Getting away at any point earlier than when you are ready is impossible. Getting away at any point earlier than an hour later than you thought was possible is also impossible.

Can I quote you on that in the future?

We had a very quiet, sleepy-in type of weekend. Nonetheless, it must be a day of lists, because it prompted me to [compose one myself]

Tamsyn said...

Sounds like you took a drive through the valley! I had to drive through there too on Saturday night to pick my husband up from a friends birthday. I used to live in the valley and loved it, but on Saturday night I just found it busy, annoying and time consuming. Sounds like I'm getting old doesn't it!?
Glad to hear you got home in one piece!

BB said...

This made me giggle. A lot. Did you get 'Wilbur's' comment on last post... kinda amazing coincidence that number 47, what?

Oh, please check on number 4 if our Mother hasn't already emailed you with her red marker...

Hugs and welcome back to Paradise!

Mistress B said...

our cats are never backwards about coming forwards with their displeasure when we have been away and left them.......... no matter how good the quality of their replacement carers!

Leenie said...

Fun to read and, although we are worlds away. I have been on that trip. I am glad you took the time to post the list. You are a pioneer and a trooper for making such an expedition.

We spent a long day on the road Saturday as well.

Ree said...

Wowweee Kaboweeee. What an amazing list. Mine would consist of:

1. I've learned that time available to sleep in on the weekends should NOT be squandered.


2. I really should learn how to use the word "obstreperous" in a sentence.

Lin said...

Love it! And there's quite a few things on that list that I have learnt from previous experiences but keep forgetting. :)

Debby said...

My weekend basically taught me that I do not want to be a plumber. Ever. Don't ask.

And can you really do that cow thing with your tongue?

Debby said...

Oh, and I was quite impressed by the ostreperous thing as well. Looked it up. (Adj. Noisily and stubbornly defiant. Aggressively boisterous.)

What? Everybody else already knew? *slinks off red faced*

jeanie said...

Trace - its yours.

Tamsyn - yep, that was the Valley - and if you ever need to know my secret parking spot, that is in the Valley also.

BB - Hmm - what did I do wrong in number 4? She didn't mention...

Mistress B - he yells all the way there and all the way home. In fact he is yelling (quietly) at me now, because I won't let him out before the sun comes up and the birds have half a chance.

Leenie - you spent an even LONGER day on the road than me, it seems.

Ree - time to sleep in should NEVER be squandered (says the girl who has been awake already for an hour and the sun is still well over the Pacific)

Lin - I often forget the lessons that should be sticky-noted on the fridge.

Debby - yes I can - but not a prettily (which is why BB doesn't have any photographic images). Obstreperous is a great word for my washing machine at the moment - which is a large step up from NOT WORKING.

Debby said...

Um, Jeanie, dear? I don't think that there is a way to do that cow thing 'prettily'. Just saying.

MissyBoo said...

Love your travels :)