Sunday, February 16, 2014

So gee whiz, Olympics, Modern Technology and a good dose of paranoia for fun...

in a completely localised sense, of course.

Television viewing has not so much been a "political decision" in this household for a while now as it has been a "weighing up whether we could be bothered against if we are receiving any transmission in viewable format".

I do believe I have blogged previously about the trials and - well, trials - of our great leap forward in in-house entertainment options, (here, here, here, and here)  but, on the whole, Sochi has been a GREAT disappointment here in Paradise.

For a start, it has been on what - about a month and a half now?  (Settle Pedants, I was using exaggeration for effect there)

You know how you watch the Winter Olympics because you secretly wish to see some spectacular - but safe - crashes? *

Well, thanks to the miracle that is Digital Television, it sort of looks like that most of the time. 

You know that the Nanny State has won, when they enforce a technology onto the masses that can create digitalised disasters during this quadrennial banquet of possibility just for me.

Because we know that I wield that sort of power - it may be called paranoia, but that doesn't mean it isn't real...

Anyhow, as I was saying, upon having an internal slugfest in my ethical minefield, I had managed to contort myself to consider it a supportive gesture of those who I wished to support in the whole legalisation of sexuality choices and my personal wintery sportslust by yelling loudly at officials from my living room and "tish"ing when it was mentioned.   I even contemplated (seriously) sharing the positive mentions.

Also, given some of the actions by governments around the world of late, I had been doing far too much "tish"ing,  and even muttering frowny faces under my breath.

Therefore, I had logiced** that I chose to celebrate participation by sporting lunatics of all genders and persuasions undertaking these events by exercising my right to remote control access.

Unfortunately, my technological overlords had a few dissenting thoughts about my political stance, and invoked the "not while a Northerly is blowing" clause with our television reception.

It still must amaze the bewildered out there that there is occasion when Paradise gets a bit - um - breezy - who would have gambled on THAT on the coast?

So some bureaucratic ba'tard in the bowels of Digital Television Intelligence is taking great delight, I am sure, in ensuring that the majority of my viewing becomes a complete screen of witness protection.

We have had approximately four days of trouble free Sochi viewing - and you can't count one of them, because I didn't realise it was on.

This meant we got to see a few first rounds of the flying downhill on skis, doing twirly things up to three stories high and landing jumps.  That was fun.  

No way in the world I would ever do that, though. For a start, look at those hills!  The only way I would get from the top to the bottom of any of these hills is very cautiously on my bottom, or as a snowball.

And am I ever glad that it is on too late for Paris to transfix for too long on the "Snow Show" - because if there is one guarantee in her life, and that is her mother will NEVER allow her to catapult herself several stories of Terra Firma, so it is a dream that is best never planted.

We also got a bit of Skeleton and Curling.  I understand neither, and one very wicked part of me wonders if any madmen had ever contemplated the entertainment potential of a hybrid sport.  There is probably a game app out there already...  ***

However - however Mr Northerly came a blowing, thus we will NEVER know what happened in the USA - Russia Ice Hockey match (although V did valiantly attempt to decifer frames of it).

V was an Ice Hockey player in his youth (in Southern California - go figure).  Let us such let the blanks speak for themselves in regards to his current view of the successive governments in this forsaken land and their media enhancement choices.

Still, what else is there to do in a small town...

*  (Personally, I am still amazed at the fact of snow, so I can look at the idiot box like a guppy usually during such an opportunity.)

** Logicked?  Logic-ed?  Logericked?  Past tense of the verb "to logic" - or have I verbalised a noun here?  Help!!

***Games developers - feel free to run with this idea.  I am imagining a sort of downhill pinball type situation (add in an element of the Slalom) , is that what is going on in your head?


Kelly said...

Though I do have good viewing conditions at my house, I'm afraid I don't do much of it. Not that I'm NOT interested, but just rather ambivalent. Same goes for the summer variety.

I guess you know by now that the USA won the hockey match. I only know because it was on the news last night. Hockey (any winter sport, for that matter) isn't exactly a big thing in my neck of the woods.

♥.Trish.♥ Drumboys said...

Our view definitely improved with a very expensive digital tv aerial or is it antenna ?
I haven't watched much of Sochi though I do admire Aussies who step outside the comfort zone of 40 ° summers and catapult themselves heaven ward.

Anonymous said...

hahaha pretty much the state of affairs Jeanie ;)
Love it!

jeanie said...

Kelly - the rumour had reached us. Choice is a fine thing.

Trish - ours improved with the expensive digital antenna - on those days when it wasn't windy. The channels also now fail in a different order, so thats a blessing?

:) Skurtling.

BB said...

LOL - you funny. Even when you are in a world of non-television pain...


Jen said...

Bummer about the tv reception. Very annoying it must be.

I watched a bit of the curling. Don't really get the appeal. Perhaps they can come to mine and sweep my hallway?

jeanie said...

BB - you're sweet.

Jen - enquiring minds want to know whether you whoosh big round stones down your hallways?

Pearl said...

Jeannie, I'm worried about you. I suggest margaritas, applied internally -- and don't skip on the limes.

Honestly. Things are made better with limes. :-)


Anonymous said...

Love your humour :) We get a great reception, except when it rains, then we get no signal at all. And yes, we are just 30k from the CBD. Our only option here, is ADSL. Technology? Pffft.

Anonymous said...

I vote for logicked. Thought you'd like to know...Mxx
Happy travelling.

jeanie said...

Pearl - I am a lime lover from WAY back - goes rather well with vodka and soda for mine.

Rhu - nothing like the great leap forward being blown off course or ending up in a sodden mess.

Thanks Mum - I knew you would come through for me :)