Saturday, June 09, 2007

The Stress Free Non Traditional Approach Less Travelled

Bit of background - I have never, ever dreamed of white weddings, marzipan cakes, tuxedos or flowers.

I have been involved in weddings - weddings that were all that, and I an auxillary watching the carnage spectacular from the sidelines.

I have been a doomsayer at the folly of some chasing the elusive dream of a rock, a frock and a c- umm - cute man to share the limousine.

(I have also been to some beautiful events that really meant everything to the people involved and those surrounding them - enough to make me not totally anti the whole kit and caboodle).

So anyway, yesterday we bought some jewellery.

Its not a piece of real estate - not even a small car or kitchen revamp - but it is the most expensive and beautiful piece of jewellery I have ever owned and we chose it during one of those grocery shops and took 'Salina with us to buy it yesterday.

I am not dreading the fact that V and I plan to be together for the long haul - we have been discussing that for ages.

I am, however, a little anxious about the gushes and intense questioning from others about "the chain of events" that this will precipitate.

The news has been broken to my immediate family.

My mother was, as usual, so wonderfully calm and supportive and quite happy about it all. (Considering my mother should take up poker as a possible hobby - unless you run your fingers down her blackboard she will never flinch - this I see as a very positive response).

My father called to congratulate when he got home later - our conversations are never smooth unless they involve mustering strategies, so for us it went very well.

My brother wished to know the details of the proposal. (BTW The details are he asked early, he asked often and he generally got the answer he was looking for) He also wanted to know if we were having a party. I don't know the answer to that - we only just got our proverbial together on jewellery.

My sister, having been primed by an afternoon visit to the parental home and having dined at her husband's extended family (therefore possibly very much primed) beat me to the punch and called me first. She was extremely gushy about it (more excited than me, it seemed) and wanted to know what we had planned thus far.

My sister had a fantastic day in a gazebo followed by drinks, a ferry ride and deluxe dining. Oh, and several hours of photographs (she is a photographer) and 3 beautiful cherubs as well as a very skinny me and a best man - but I do remember a few moments of stress (she is also a bit of a perfectionist).

My brother had a fantastic day on the side of a river on the property followed by a feast in a tent. I think I was fairly stressed then about having a toddler and an untame soon to be ex, so I don't remember much else.

My parents had the traditional church and reception circa 1965.

Our plan thus far is that we want no fuss and a stress-free event some so-far undetermined time in the future. It will possibly be fairly non-traditional to meet our personalities, the inclusion of 'Salina is mandatory, very likely somewhere in Paradise and our budget will enable those who love us enough to come to Paradise to attend should get fed - maybe a bowl or two of chips and some dips, you know...

My sister assures me that "the only stresses will be those you impose on yourself" but I don't know - I am fairly gun-shy and think that a quick whip down to the registry might be in order if it starts to look dicey...

By the way - if you are a "real life" friend and I haven't phoned you and "told you the big news" - well, I am getting to it - still freaking out about the questions I will have to answer.




Do what makes you happy and have your sister remind you when needed to not put the stress on yourself. She is right.

You'll find that those who love you and wish you well, will except any decisions you as a couple decide on.

Tracey said...

Lovely news!
Stick to your guns and do it exactly how you want to do it. It's your marriage, not anyone else's! I'm sure we could all insist something about our own weddings is the perfect thing to do... whether that be traditional, or something more unique.. but in the end you're not any of us.. you're you!

I still recall very vividly my then mother-in-law to be telling me I should insist on an engagement ring. (I didn't want one.)... "Oh, make him get you one. You'll regret it if you don't.". Well, 18 years down the track, I don't regret it!!

So don't fall for any of the 'you'll regret it' lines!

Life. Complicated. said...

Hey there,

I am so happy for you all! My one piece of advice as I approach my 1 year Anniv and starting on 8 years together. The only thing that matters is that there are 4 people there... You, V, Y, and whomever is doing the marrying!

Have WHAT you want and everyone else will be fine.

Love ya!

Anonymous said...

Hey CONGRATULATIONS! That's really exciting! Sounds like you'll stick to your guns and do the wedding the way YOU want to.

We are getting married in Nov and decided to do it on Kauai , thinking we'd be just us and a tropical sunset, and suddenly we have 16 people coming along for the ride! I'm gonna make 'em each plan something fun to do the week we're there, heh heh. Why not share the planning?!

Hey you could always put a little photo of your new bling bling up on your blog!

Thanks for visiting my blog and reminding me how i overcame my fear of childbirth! That was a fun surprise to see your post.

jeanie said...

Thanks for the congrats, all.

Elizabeth - I was being very politic, but my sister IS a major stress merchant and more likely to stress me with such comments!

We do intend to do it "our way" - just got to work out how that is going to be achieved...

handinhandaus said...

Good for you for doing it your way!! The only time I have won the Melbourne Cup was in the year leading up to our wedding and I backed "Let's elope" :)

Michelle said...

Congrats. Yep, stick to your guns. It's your day so it should be the way you want it, not someone else.

strauss said...

WHOO HOO Jeanie. Please allow me to gush for a bit. Congratulations to yourself and "V". What great news.
So blazae you were in the telling...oh yeah, "we bought some jewellery today".
Huh! Huh! What was that???? Ha HA.
Have fun planing it your way - it is the only way to go.

Melody said...

Congratulations! My partner and I have been engaged now for 5 years this year. And nope, still not married. One day, when we can be bothered and can afford to, we will do the deed. In the meanwhile we are happy being us and happy being engaged.

Jen at Semantically driven said...

Congratulations to you both. What great news. As others have expressed, you have the wedding you want. And for us that love weddings please show us the pictures.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations to you both :)

How only tip to you is to do exactly what the two of you want, NOT what everybody else wants.

Thanks for stopping by the Mad goat Lady..glad it gave you a giggle!

I have really enjoyed your blog too and will certainly be back for more :)