Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Lessons in Life - Don't Jest with the Universe

because man, that universe can smite!

Where was I? Oh yes, being all smug and stuff about my organisational talents.

Then I left the building.

The first part of my day was not so bad. I went to the shops. I called my parents who were to meet me. I spoke to the answering machine on BOTH their mobile phones. This is not so unusual - they come from an area with no mobile coverage, and have a bad habit of forgetting to turn it on when they come to civilisation. My mother also has a habit of switching it off when she doesn't feel it necessary i.e. when she is not making the call.

While waiting at the queue at the ATM, I bumped into my father. There was another REALLY good reason for me getting the mobile phone answering machines - they had forgotten BOTH of them. Close universe, but it was not my organisational skills in question on that one!

Then I had to go to the library. I cannot blame yesterday's trip to the library on the Universe's current gripe - obviously I have a habit of upsetting the Universe.

Many moons ago, I took out some books. I have to admit that I lost one - to compound my crime, I failed to return the rest while I was looking for it.

It appears that the library would not only like me to pay for the book that I lost (fair enough - I would too) and the GST for them repurchasing it (cheers) but also for the overdue fines on the books I failed to return in a timely fashion. I know, they do that but really, couldn't they have a "cringe override", realise that people do these stupid things and just turn a blind eye? No? You are much harsher than I.

Do you know what the really hysterical thing about the lost book is? Its title and subject matter. The book that I lost is (drumroll please) "The Idiot's Guide to the Perfect Wedding". I shall pause a moment for you all to regain composure.

So, not only did I not read and glean the secrets of the said book (shut up Universe, I can still hear you laughing), but our wedding has already us $37.95 (plus $15 overdue fees - which count towards costs, I think).

Oh, and to screw its heel into the butt of my library experience - they don't have EFTPOS so although I was organised enough to have the spare dosh in my account, I could not use it so I have to go back there another day for the overdue fees to be released and receive my free book fix once again.

I was going to go and give blood at the blood bank, but as they didn't open for several more hours and as I actually had things to do at home, they missed out on some quality O negative. Take that, Universe.

I got home and was recounting this to V. Have I told you about V's sense of humour? It is on par with that shown by the Universe yesterday. He mentioned that he would have to lay rocks for an extra hour and a half for my forgetfulness (I am sure in jest) but he forgot - Universal Smite can work both for and against.

I was very sweet in mentioning that this was not the week in which to jest about contributions to the household, so to increase his hilarity factor he continued to draw great big squiggly targets on himself with every comment he made for the next 20 minutes.

Unfortunately, I was unable to defend myself when I realised that during my run around that day, I had failed to return the overnight DVD we had taken out on Sunday - another $6.60 pissed into the wind he will have to earn for my affection.

The good news is that dinner was beautiful! Zucchini slice with steamed beans and left-over spaghetti - mm-mmmmm. And the taco dinner tonight will be brought to us by V, as he has to take 'Salina shopping for a surprise for me and I have a P&C meeting. Come on Universe - I think it's showtime!


BB said...

Oh dear... that was a bit ordinary. I think I know how you feel being a bit disorganised and forgetful and all (and NO I still haven't come across your wedding book here at Granite Glen!).


Hilary said...

My daughter had a bad credit rating and the only thing she could think of was overdue library fines! I mean, seriously!

Jayne said...

Our local library accused me of having kept a book I'd borrowed and returned.For weeks I hunted for that damn book, 99% certain I'd returned it.5 weeks later I saw the bast$%d thing on their damn shelves, pointed it out to them and they just shrugged and blamed a computer glitch.

Lin said...

Parallel universes: I left one of my library books out in the rain (not my fault the courtyard roof leaks!) "many moons ago" and have also not returned to the library with the stack of books that did survive being in my care for that long.

Hope the universe will guide you to some forgotten cash, a winning lottery ticket or just an easy-peasy ridiculously well-paid job. :)

♥.Trish.♥ Drumboys said...

yes , oh dear - you have screwed up - and I hope you took notes before you lost the plot ... I mean book !

I am terrible for overdue library books but haven't borrowed any for years ... last time they didn't charge overdue fees phew... I would have needed a 2nd mortgage.

Alison said...

Ouch. That is some unfortunate universal attitude.
Our library doesn't enforce over due fees. Thankfully! They call you up and harass you instead. In fact, I got a call from them about an over due book - "Handy signs for your one year old". I told them that couldn't possibly be correct as my youngest child is almost two.
Turns out the book was very overdue. Opps.
Hope you can at least enjoy watching the universe hit V's target. Maybe while he's earning your affection... ;)

Debby said...

Do you think that losing your wedding book was your subconscious trying to distract yourself from actually planning a wedding.

Just saying.

Julie Pippert said...

At least dinner was good!

And...sorry but LOL about the book that was lost and the first wedding cost.

Sometimes things seem scattered. It will pass, promise.

alice said...

Hey, I am O- as well.

I have to share with you a little secret called 'library elf' - most libraries use it (Google is your friend) and you can renew your book with a click, on-line while you read blogs. and keep renewing. Saves a bomb in overdue fees :)

Antropóloga said...

My library does a great job of believing me when I think I've returned something and they think I haven't.

jeanie said...

BB - is it genetic? Can we keep blaming Mum?

Hilary - okay, I am scared now. I mean I was scared before of even applying for credit so I would assume I have no credit rating, now I find out they can still think badly of me?

Jayne - I have had that happen before. Unfortunately I left it at either my sister's, my sister-in-law's or somewhere in between - which is a large area to search!

lin - from your lips to the gods ears.

baby-amore - I hadn't even cracked it open. For some reason it induced sleep without even having to read it... What is that about? Lucky for me, the local library has a "food for fees" amnesty in October/November every year, so there has not been too much build up prior to this.

alison - do they lend to people who live far, far away? I once had to return a book of my mother's to such a library. It was over a year overdue and titled "How to organise your life" - she had wanted me to extend it!

D'ya think, Deb?

thanks Julie - yep, got the food situation still in hand.

alice - if I could remember my pin and think to do it, I am sure my woes would have been less intense.

eva - waaah I want your library. My librarian didn't even crack a smile the whole transaction.