Thursday, October 15, 2015

Public Service Announcement: Something happened...

If ever you want to feel good about yourself, take a brief glance into the Spam folder of the average backwater blog of a recalcitrant writer.

See - there IS good in the world if you look hard enough.

And if you want to feel REALLY good about yourself, please feel free to feel superior to me right now...

(Unless you are my mum.  If you're my mum - thanks - you did an awesome job having me as a daughter, and I really want you to just rest on your laurels and feel you did pretty well so probably would be best if you clicked away now and, you know, not find out that it is possible that I may be an inferior product.  Okay mum?  Love you.  x) 

(Oh, and Mum - click Dad away too)

See, a funny thing happened on the way to the blog.

Well, when I say funny, I mean funny in a pah-culiar sort of way, not funny in a rofling sort of way.*

It is Wednesday night here, and Wednesday nights tend to meander along a path towards slumber ** that has slight variation on my Monday and Tuesday versions of that time-period.

Tonight, however - tonight had an added element that could not be strictly ascribed to Wednesday.

As a result, I am sitting here holding an ice-pack that V has thoughtfully given to me.

oops - wrong photo uploaded there!  And no, this isn't the cause of the ice-pack.  Also, fair to say, what went down tonight would have happened had my thigh been either slack or taut.  It wasn't a Wednesday thing and it wasn't a thigh thing...

and I am neither confirming nor denying that some of the above challenges may have been inadvertently involved in the "Wednesday nights tend to meander along a path towards".  I will neither confirm nor deny any butts about what happened.  I can say with assurance that the above challenge was not directly involved in the ice-pack requirement.

Please be assured you that NO PLANKS WERE BROKEN (or attempted) in the journey that became my Wednesday night lament.  Its not about me going crazy, okay?

 V is concerned that it doesn't look good for him - but I truly think that on occasion his left arm is his good side...  ***
I am afraid that it is I, and I alone completely responsible for this busted lip...
and I may have both egg on face and egg on forehead, folks.  How superior are you feeling?

Twas I who stood up from a short recline on the bed, sans glasses, turned and walked directly into an open cupboard door.

Yes!  I know!! I truly did walk into a door.  A door that I myself had opened only one half-hour earlier and failed to close properly!!

What a complete fail, eh?  Yes, that voice inside my head that very rarely gets any heed paid is smirking smugly like nobodies business now!

"What do I tell you?  Shut the doors properly.  Close the lids tightly.  Always allow an extra half-hour.  Tidy as you go along."

Blah. blah-blah. blah-blah blah blah.


Yep, that is about how it went down folks!!

Now, do you feel better now?

* ever since learning certain initialisms were considered passe by those who are hip and young in this era, I have taken it upon myself to be a thoroughly modern fogey, deliberately choosing such just to get up their left nostrils.  Consider it a Public Service.  You're welcome.

Huge shout-out to the amazing Flight of the Conchords - fourth most popular guitar-based, digi-bongo, acapella-rap-funk-comedy folk duo from New Zealand.

(not safe for work - or parents.  Well, my parents)

Bonus points to those who noticed that behind V, I had carefully placed another booby trap should the first cupboard door failed to find its target.

**** and double-bonus points if you noticed that I really backhanded V by linking that song.  Sorry honey.  What I really meant was

(very much not safe for my Mum, my Dad or your Boss)

So.  How's your Wednesday.  And improve mine - how were you superior today?


Debby said...

My heavens! Are you and your sister having some sort of a contest?

Kelly said...

You have my sincere sympathy. I had a minor (major?) slip in the bathtub not long ago. And I have a good "middle of the night collision with a solid wood door" story, as well. But I'll spare you. ;)