Funny Old Weekend (and week thus far)

Well, a lot has happened in Paradise (and to the inParadise family) since last I blogged...

Lets see - feasting, family, funny heads, frantic computing, finding sandals, feeling for friends, and computer v!ruses (or should that be v!rusii?) - so it wasn't completely f-ed! I amuse myself.

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Friday we went to the local Mexican establishment to sample some delights and take my San Diego boy back to his roots (so to speak).

They have an "all you can eat" deal available certain nights so we thought, what with the appetite of V, that might be the way to go.

It was good and it was not so good.

• Good in that 'Salina enjoyed the decor, we got a laugh at the toilet signs.
• Bad in that they put us at a table and disappeared without explanation for a time.
• Good in that the garlic bread (how very traditional Mexican) and fried potatoes with cumin and sour cream dip was very much appreciated and delicious.
• Bad in that we realised their ploy was to fill us on crap before the decent stuff came out.
• Good in that the nachos were very authentic, without absolute reliance on the dairy products and with a very yummy blend of beans and stringed beef in the sauce.
• Bad in that 'Salina's leg was very sore "like its bruised on the inside".
• Good in that, when the main chicken and beef dishes arrived, they were to die for wonderful.
• Bad in that 'Salina was full by that stage and didn't want to eat any of the vegetables.
• Bad in that we were then ignored for a long while.
• Good in that they finally asked if we wanted anything more.
• Bad when we were advised that we could have (if we were really that gluttonous) some queasadilla (sp?) or start the sequence again.

Yes, we were very full. But no, we were not satiated. We got a take-away menu as the food was good - but the prices? We have realised why we eat out or get take-away so rarely!!

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On the weekend we went to the family property, as I am doing a bit of computer work for them to (a) take the load off them, (b) have a great excuse to visit more often, and (c) they will pay me!

On the way there, we stopped at our usual playground (where there is a merry-go-round with real live plastic horses to ride). As we left, 'Salina was questioned on the status of her sandals. She replied in the car, and I made that fatal mother mistake of NOT CHECKING. Needless to say, she only had a pair of riding boots to wear all weekend.


It was great seeing everybody - and we got to see the whole shebang - 5 children, 4 parents and 2 grandparents. My family are a wonderful bunch of people - and like a lot of large groups with familial ties, we have our moments and idiosynchrasies - I am sure that people require a lot of training and forebearance coming in from the outside - and other families who have their own unique moments and idiosynchrasies.

Poor old V had been a little under the weather all week, and got family-stroke so was laid out for the whole evening session. He had just finished a full week of physical labour and needed to rest. My family - well, we haven't been brought up in a rest-advocated environment. We are opinionated, vocal and a lot of work - even in leisure-time - gets attempted.

Well, I was out there to work anyway, so I did. Pagi (grandpa) delivered a bull with the girls - 'Salina, FlowerGirl, RockGirl and Supergal (Spideyboy was girled out and Bruiser went home for a much-needed nap) and then Pagi to saddled the horse for her usual ride. Both mothers and I did officey stuff, Nana packed up more "stuff" (she moved - ahem - from there 10 months ago) and BIL sanded back a floor in the new kitchen - because its the weekend, and that is what you do on the weekend. Its not real work, its weekend work!


By next day, V was up to light duties (keeping Supergal, Spideyboy and 'Salina out from the house)- an easy prospect in the end as there are many interesting things for youngens out there. Dog pen, bulls, horses, shed, sand piles - you know, the perfect playground. I was back on the 'puter, BIL sanded back more floor in the new kitchen and SisterJane uploaded and edited the photos that she had taken for the local kindergarten - its Sunday, and that is what you do on the weekend. Its not real work, its weekend work!

Okay, so my family is touched! But I got the work all finished by lunchtime. After lunch I agreed to a stay of leaving for 'Salina to watch a movie and I commandeered some downtime - and took V for a drive around part of the property.

Because of the nature of our times out there, V has not got the drives that my Dad used to take us on every weekend - the "check the property this is not work" task that occurred regularly - so I took him on the scenic route.

This picture is so cute - my family have Brangus cattle, and their habit is to have the calves in "nursery" with a few babysitters while the mothers graze a little way away - but if anything disturbs the babies they come running from the hills! It makes them easy to muster.

The prickly pear are in flower, which either means it will be a good season or a really crap one - they need it to be the former!


This is a view from Top Back Creek towards the house - V now at least has a bit more basic knowledge when our family refers to landmarks and act as if they are just over there, when in reality could be 15 km away!

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On the way home to Paradise, we again we stopped at our usual playground (where there is a merry-go-round with real live plastic horses to ride) - and lo and behold, some kind stranger had found the sandals and put them in shelter! It makes you smile to know there are good people in the world.

When we got home, we flaked.

Both V and I had friends who sorely need to be better appreciated. I had just found out about some computer v!ruses (see below) and was a bit sad on behalf of a funeral that I couldn't get to.

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Then I found out about Lucky Dube's death. I had helped with the band in Sydney when he came on tour - of the guys that were out here with them, very few are left alive - some due to the same senseless violence that Lucky died from.

When they were here, we had some of the guys at a newsagency in the Cross when a suspected shoplifter was caught. You have never seen 3 Africans disappear into the shelves like them - they could not believe a gun had not been brought out, because that is the way it would have been at home.

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On top of that, I did not get my chance to catch up on the world online - due to (a) getting a v!rus (in the form of a Mozilla Update, I am pretty sure - I don't tend to open attachments) and losing all Firefox essentials (and bookmarks) - such as a menu, toolbar, window or control - just a wee blue line with "Firefox" and an "x" on the screen - close it and you got another... I flicked to my AVG - who told me "yes, we did find a v!rus a few days ago - put it somewhere safe but couldn't save you but WELL, WE ALSO DIDN'T LET YOU KNOW LIKE WITH A BLODDY GREAT WARNING SIGN!" - oooh.

I went to IE, which I have problems with as every so often it has a memory clash with something else and wants me to debug it... I did a little surf on essentials (you know, follow up emails) and clicked on a facebook message - and wham - 14 pop up windows appeared - I tried closing them down as fast as they opened, but scared the carp out of me.

According to AVG, today I have nothing at all wrong with the computer - it is all d-a-n-d-y - I am not so blithe as once I was!

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Yesterday (Monday) was a pupil-free day for the kids, so I had 'Salina in tow to do more mundane tasks or left her to her own devices while I just did what I had to do - great interactive mothering, hey?

As is our way, the day that 'Salina gets a pupil-free day is the day that V gets to knock off the work site early! We are still in that stage of our relationship where a few hours of prospective child-free time is a luxury to be enjoyed, not endured - but was not to be. Instead, V got to take 'Salina for a cycle and swim at the beach. For which I was very appreciative - as I said, great at interactive mothering!

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So today I am very tentatively approaching the machine. I was less tentative about reminding a client that the money due a week ago is still not apparent - as that stands in the way of decent v!rus protection, new opportunities and my trip to Armidale - and was successful with that, at least.

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Electrolux still aren't giving me any love - they aren't hating me either, just giving me the "we'll call you" shuffle and leaving me in limbo.

That brings us almost up to date - 'Salina is at guides, so V and I have had some child-free time (where I blogged - priorities!), V is cooking mexican (its Tuesday night - its always much anticipated tacos and burritos) with additional difficulty as I forgot the seasoning mix!

So I will sneak out of here - should be back to blog surfing strength soon - until then, hello all internet friends, I miss you...

Spin Queening

Gee whiz, it sounds like I have a lot to do in my life, doesn't it? That is because I am the Queen of Spin.

The secret to that, my friends, is I write my blog early and tell you of my intentions.

Today, due to the nature of Fridays, instead you get to see my results.

Take yesterday's to-do list, shall we?

As tomorrow is Boardies Day for Surf Life Savers fundraising - and as 'Salina has a peculiarity about her waist sensitivity that I blame on her father - I have need to dust of the sewing machine. The material we have chosen from a stockpile I had - and as I am making one pair, I might as well make 6 (include all the cousins - I have enough material), a dress for myself (different material), picnic rugs for the extended families for Christmas presents and maybe do my mending.

Well, I did cut out the three size patterns I would need in regard to shorts. I also cut out the pieces for the six pairs of shorts, the smallest three using the old "rough gauge" to alter for size. I did the fancy-schmancy stuff for the pockets and I sewed up the sides, I pinned the crotches - and then I ran out of steam.

In came 'Salina from school - and the ones her size (the largest as she is the oldest cousin) didn't fit. So I again used the old "rough gauge" to alter for size and made one complete pair of boardies. The rest are in the very large "to finish" pile...

Oh, and today?

Tomorrow's to-do list immediately formed, as the weekly budget comes down today, flea powder and bombs can be bought, we will all be away from the house for bombing (oh, the joys of tuckshop day), yet I will return by the afternoon for cleaning every surface, vacuuming all beds and floors. I will also be able to zip home intermittently to move the washing every ounce of bedding along.

Shall we all laugh together? Best way to kybosh that little plan? Forget to buy the darned flea stuff.

Today was tuckshop day, which was joyous as usual - and that was about it. Well, that and spent an hour discussing all aspects of feeding times at the zoo with a friend (accompanied by some very good humour). Had a nap while 'Salina had afternoon tea. Nearly got the washing up done - and I have picked some parsley for tabboulleh.

We are going out to tea tonight (yay us - we never go out) and are going away to my family's for the weekend, so will be taking the weekly parsley crop out in the form of a salad offering.

And to end this exciting round up - I warned V and 'Salina to take their hands out of the way and to stop pulling faces else I would post a photo on my blog.



Oh, and V just thanked me for making him the happiest man in the world - another tick off the to do list - it was said before I posted this, however.

(All images of V belong to him. So I s'pose I am in trouble now.)

The Early Bird

Ahh - yes, one of those mornings when I was in the middle of an interesting dream (I believe) and was awoken pre-dawn.

Immediately, like an old Southern Cross windmill, my mind went into action, pumping the chores and activities that I would like to undertake over the next few days.

My first thought was "cat has fleas" as his incessant scratching was what first stirred me. Tomorrow's to-do list immediately formed, as the weekly budget comes down today, flea powder and bombs can be bought, we will all be away from the house for bombing (oh, the joys of tuckshop day), yet I will return by the afternoon for cleaning every surface, vacuuming all beds and floors. I will also be able to zip home intermittently to move the washing every ounce of bedding along.

With that preliminary workout, I then turned to matters today. As tomorrow is Boardies Day for Surf Life Savers fundraising - and as 'Salina has a peculiarity about her waist sensitivity that I blame on her father - I have need to dust of the sewing machine. The material we have chosen from a stockpile I had - and as I am making one pair, I might as well make 6 (include all the cousins - I have enough material), a dress for myself (different material), picnic rugs for the extended families for Christmas presents and maybe do my mending.

Then I got out of bed - it was 4.30am - the good news is that I have already ticked off 5 things on my list - the bad news is that it is now 2 1/2 hours later, I have just read the above and the rest of my list and I suddenly feel very, very tired!!!

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Quick housekeeping from the last few posts.

• There was a good explanation why my friend had not yet been told. There still is no good reason that our other friend died as she did.
• I have nearly nailed down the childcare fix for me to do my training, get my girlie weekend and ensure 'Salina has a good time WITHOUT too much extra driving!
• We are at the end of PMS - yay!!
• My friend managed to have one of her paintings sold, so at least one benefactor found the show

Death Etiquette

I lived in Melbourne 10 years ago for a year. It was mostly a good year and I had some great friends down there.

I received a call last night from one of those friends to tell me another had died suddenly last week.

The news reminded me that there are many of my friends I have lost touch with over time that I should have made more effort to maintain basic contact with.

I am a shocker - I mean to do Christmas cards every year - sometimes I get around to doing a few but never enough. I have a folder of "I must reply to" emails that is so huge now - and many are over a year old...

I used to be a habitual "form letter update" to my far-flung friends, then it was "form email update" - both have petered out.

I tell some about my blog, but really this is neither a journal of the minutae of my life nor a true individual communication, rather a mirror or telescope into little aspects.

It seems like I am paring off the feeling part of me that I used to put into my friendships, and I realise now that it REALLY sucks.

I have HAD so many friends through my life. I have moved many times, and sometimes I have kept the contact, other times faded away.

It takes a wake up call like this to make me realise that my friends (and I am lucky, as I have family members who are also my friends) deserve a little more from me...

Jo was many things and will be missed greatly by her family and her friends. I do miss her too - but I also miss that, apart from sporadic contact, I missed so much of her when she was alive and I wish I could have told her.

So I am making an effort to rectify this with other friends, starting today...

Of course, I immediately stumbled, as I called the friend who had originally introduced us to comiserate with her - and she had not been told.

What is the etiquette there? And why do I feel so crappy that I was the one to have to tell her?

Whistling in the wind here - be back and hopefully less naval-oriented then.

The Parental Conundrum

Yesterday, I had a very exciting phone call. It was to do with work prospects. A company that could send me a lot of flexible work (I love flexible work) wants me to go and visit them so they can train me up - FREE OF CHARGE - in the software they develop and distribute.

Its computer software stuff - I love computer software stuff. They service industries that I know a fair bit about. It is servicing clients that may involve a bit of travel but that should be able to fit in with my needs.

The company is based in Armidale - a rush of blood went to my head when I realised that I will be only a few hours from there one weekend not too far away. I was going to allow 'Salina's paternal extended family the pleasure of having her for the weekend while I (and V, if we could wangle a day from his job) had a weekend in Northern New South Wales with one of my oldest friends and some of her other mates.

I even have an appointment on the Monday with a Brisbane client to tie up some loose ends there - oh, the time management I was bouncing about.

But I only pencilled it in. It was not until discussing it with V later that I realised what I was suggesting.

I was suggesting that I dump my own child on people who probably don't want, need or possibly are not up to the responsibility of 4 full days and nights of an 8 year old child.

While I could probably ask V to take one day from work for the Brisbane appointment, it is impossible to ask that he take 3-4 days to accompany me for babysitting duties when currently his is the main (read almost only) income that keeps us in the lifestyle.

And if I left her at home, I would be asking that we have a patchwork of carers from 80 year old neighbours and other mothers to cover the gaps that his work makes due to his timetable and hers - and I would be dumping my kid on my boyfriend!

While he is absolutely wonderful and wanting to be the best father role in the world for her and we have done the whole affiancing thing, it is still a bit rich to say "hey, going away for work training and a weekend with old girlfriends - have fun" to your daughter and your boyfriend.

So, of course, in true jeanie style, I obsessed it a little. I did a fine line in obsessing it while at the shops. I subconsciously obsessed through dinner, through bedtime routines, even through crap tv.

V went to bed at 9.30 but I stayed up to watch a darned movie I have seen before and has Adam Sandler in it. And I cried. I then hopped on to the computer and checked out posts and cried. Except for totally getting where my blog-friend Jaycee is at with her plea last night (Semantically Driven - What do you say to someone who says he hates himself) I did not know why everything was getting at me so much...

I then also read Serving the Queens - what I cannot give her and Plain Jane - I do what I do and could not believe how the theme was building.


Then I went to bed, and the subconcious broke out.

How DARE I expect others to take care of my child. How SELFISH of me to want to do something that will improve our lot when THIS IS MY BED and I should just suck it up and lie in it.

Speaking of lying in the bed, after an hour of such self-loathing I left it to try the cocoa trick. When I returned, V had left me a v-e-r-y narrow precipice to teeter on. I tried his side, but it just wasn't right and had too many pillows. I tried my side, but the knee placement, the foot placement and the fear of killing his arm led me to curl up, top to toe with him covered in a crocheted rug - very apt for self-pity!

Had I been still in Brisbane, this opportunity may not have come along - but had I been still in Brisbane, I had a network of single friends and single parent friends who I could have knitted something together with - but up here, the school parent support network is less obvious and my friends are farther away. I miss that aspect and probably should make more of an effort - but it is so hard to do so when the chances of being rebuffed seems stronger. I don't know.

I was a wreck by morning - but at least my insomnia had given me fodder for an excellent to do list.

One of the things to do was call my mum. My mother is very wise. I told her my yarn and she told me that no-one does a line in guilt like me, and I should learn to stop that and now.

She then suggested my sister for the babysitting role, with 'Salina having a week at the local one teacher school thrown in. I have yet to talk with my sister, so it is still not carved in stone.

But that does not matter. I know my training does not really have to be on those dates - it just seemed provident. If it doesn't, I should not agonise over it, I should reschedule and move on.

And I realise that I am not an island. I do have V who will cover for me when I am so ill I cannot move or when I have short term time issues in a parenting role - and who will be beside me while parenting as much as he is able which is far more than most men would offer and I am grateful and happy that he is part of our lives.

I also have the most supportive family a woman could want. My sister and BIL are 'Salina's godparents, and I was already a sole parent when I made my decision and I think it a very wise decision. They love her truly - as she does them - and they have ponies. And if they need a break, right next door is my brother and SIL, who also have her wellbeing at heart. They have a pony too.

While I gripe about the ex-laws, I know that had I asked them they would have said "sure" - it was more my own peace of mind and the fact that it would be a struggle for them in terms of time and effort to have that long a visit. Both brothers are now working (there is an unusual star alignment in the heavens there) and are only really good childcare for an hour or so "playtime". Sister is fantastic, but her son goes to a very big school and so she works and plays during her child-free hours - I would either be hindering that or asking my child to go into a large possibly bullying environment (there have been issues). She also has 50/50 parenting with her ex, so her child-free time is also a premium. Baka is great too, but she is an unfit, barely mobile 70 year old woman who plays poker and watches soap operas with the kids.

This morning, I also learned a few more blog lessons, from
Parenting without a License - Making the Grade and Dream Mom - Gone Fishin’. Both made me cry, but the tears were more of the joy of simple lessons life can give.