Anyhow, thanks for all your very wonderful suggestions as to how frogs were not the most scary things to find in a bathroom - it brought to mind a trip to a school camp when I was younger, and as it is a very wet and steamy Saturday afternoon with only a few games of cards and zucchini to prepare for dinner ahead of me, I thought I might take you with me to visit the scariest toilet scene in my memory bank.
The year was 1985. The destination was the annual Year 11 camp at Blackdown Tableland, where we were to spend time learning all manner of things natural and beautiful - but the lasting impression that we came away with was that of the local fauna and their ability to mess with the minds of 16 year-old girls.
Imagine this - 160km on buses with 60 other girls and several long-suffering teachers. The campgrounds are primitive even now, with the dirt for your tent, the stone rings for your fire and the composting toilets. It was roughing it - and roughing it, on this scale, was not often afforded to 16 year old girls more used to the privations of boarding school.
Imagine this - food barbecued over open fires and the swoops of native birdlife attacking your sustenance on its travel from fire to plate.
Imagine this - bushwalks every day through pristine wilderness (complete with pristine spider webs and the potential of snakes at every corner), washing up in waterholes (with frogs and eels), complete lack of sanitation and privacy, mud, rain, tents - isn't it all so romantic?
And then there were the toilets. Composting toilets give the impression of all things organic - in all senses. Add 60 odd sixteen year old girls and the ablutions of a few days, heavy rain and mud surroundings and you might get part of an idea.
And then add the
Oh yes, never were we so glad to see civilisation - and the throne of respectability available.
Good thing I wasn't into chillies so much then.
It hasn't (totally) ruined me for camping. But it has made my standards include showers and bird-free toilets. Its not too much to ask.
So come on - one-ups welcome!