Jeanie and taunting the weather gods...

Apparently, there is a cyclone to the North of us. It is category 4 (which is really, really big - like you don't want to argue with it) and caused the weather girl to say on the news last night "most of coastal Queensland is being declared a disaster zone" which is just so typical of today's journalism.

Here, 650km to the South of the flaunted "disaster zone" (with another 500km to the South of us) it is fairly still, the waves are fairly flat (to V's dismay) and the rain only threatens.

My maths says that there can be no way over 50%, let alone "most" of the coast declared, so a big "nyah" to commercial television reportage.

Yes, I KNOW if you live in regions North of the "disaster zone" you sort of want to give rain a wide berth or send it South, but see, here in Paradise my car needs a wash and I may have to contemplate turning on a hose for the little citrus trees to grow up to be big citrus trees.

(I know - I was only whinging about rain a few short weeks ago, but (a) I am a fickle creature, and (b) I have a black belt in whinging and like to lash it occasionally.)

So anyway, I have hatched myself a little plan.

To entice a little of the wind and weather to my neck of the woods (just enough to water the garden, wash the car and get a surf for V - I am not greedy), I plan to:

• wash seven loads of washing, including
  • a small backlog built up since I last washed on Tuesday including the washing I forgot to take out of the machine on Friday
  • the sheets off the beds that were stripped on Tuesday
  • the entire range of teatowels from the kitchen and bath towels from the bathroom, and yes that means the dank washers found in nooks and crannies and even the < gasp > bath mat < /gasp >
    
• Hang them on the line (take THAT weather gods)

Of course, that may or may not work.

I also have up my sleeves

• Clean the bathroom (oh yes, I believe in pulling out the guns when the guns are necessary) and discussing the situation with the weather gods (including a small discussion with the big boss, if necessary)

I am going to get really upset if that still hasn't pulled a tear from the skies, but I still have an ace to play.

• The car will remain hidden in the garage so they don't know my sinister plot until the rain starts to plop, but if necessary I will forego my chance at a free carwash and actually do the darned thing manually. That should get the rain-juice flowing

Of course, if all else fails, I will have to water the garden myself.

Of course, the speed and direction Hamish is heading has caused a few weather predictions with him on our doorstep some time during the week - which may be about when I am over the whole hoping for rain thing and want sunshine - but hey, I can be as fickle as weather.